How and Why to Bless the Children

Parashat Vayechi

16 Tevet 5773 / 8-29 December 2012 Torah Reading: Genesis 47:28 - 50:26 Haftarah: 1 Kings 2:1-12 Please feel free to pass this on, and please cite the source. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How and Why to Bless the Children And (Jacob, aka Israel) blessed them that day, saying, "In you shall Israel bless, saying, 'May God make you as Ephraim and Menashe'" ... Genesis 48:20 This is the beginning of the blessing over sons. For both sons and daughters, the rest of the blessing is the same - the threefold blessing of the Kohanim. Why do we start the blessing of the sons this way? What's so special about Joseph's sons? Indeed, the blessing for daughters starts out, "May God make you like Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel and Leah." Why not bless sons with "Abraham, Isaac and Jacob"? The Yalkut Yehudah addresses this, in part. He says that Jacob was a prophet who foresaw the exile of his descendants. He knew that their Jewishness was endangered. Therefore, he said that sons should be blessed to be like Ephraim and Menashe - the first Jewish men who were born, raised and educated in exile (Egypt), in spite of which, they remained faithful Jews (Jacob says, "Like Reuben and Simeon, they shall be mine." - Gen. 48:5) And here we are today, keeping the faith, though we are born, raised and educated outside of the Land of Israel. But what about daughters? Why are they blessed in the names of the four ancestral mothers? I believe it has to do with two points. First, they also were born outside the Land of Israel, in Haran. Second, Jewish tradition teaches that mothers are the ones who instill religious practice and belief in children, because they are their first teachers. The Midrash teaches that it was the women who kept the men's spirits up during the days of slavery in Egypt. Finally, according to tradition, it is the women who maintain the Jewishness of the home, particularly with regard to kashrut and Shabbat observance (e.g., Sarah was the first to kindle Shabbat lights). So our daughters are blessed in the names of the Matriarchs. Of course, all of this is irrelevant - unless you make it a regular practice to bless your children on Shabbat and Yom Tov evenings. Whether you are like Ephraim and Menashe, or like Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel and Leah, bless your children tonight - keep the faith, baby! Shabbat Shalom. Rabbi Richard A. Flom - ZSRS '00 Blogging at: rav-rich.blogspot.com/ Visit me on Facebook "For the sake of Zion I will not be silent; for the sake of Jerusalem I will not be still." Isaiah 62:1 ----------------------------------------------- Candle lighting: 4:34 PM Lunch and Learn is an ongoing program of Bet Midrash Shalom that meets most Tuesdays to discuss Jewish texts and other topics of Jewish interest. It is open to all regardless of affiliation. Next meeting is Tuesday, January 8, 12:00 noon, at Congregation Beth Meier, 11725 Moorpark St., Studio City, CA 91604. PLEASE DO NOT BRING ANY FOOD UNLESS IT IS IN ITS ORIGINAL SEALED CONTAINER AND BEARING A HEKHSHER AS DAIRY OR PAREVE. Wishing everyone a happy, healthy and peaceful secular new year. This d’var torah is offered in honor of my wonderful, loving wife, Lynn Kronzek, on the occasion of our 32nd wedding anniversary. Through her am I blessed. Happy Anniversary, my dear! Refuah Shleimah: Connie Axelson, President George H W Bush, Bobbie Chasen, Selby Horowitz, Pamela Huddleston, Sara Lanxner, Emily Levin, Frank Markowitz, Yitzchak Simcha ben Bayla, Herman Rassp, Helen Reiter, Len Reiter, Adin Ring, Gil Robbins, Rachel Robbins, Judith Sakurai, Helen Tomsky, Betty Varon and Seymour Waterman. You can subscribe to Cyber Torah and receive it in your mailbox every week. Cyber Torah list management (no salesman will call!): Send requests for dedications of Cyber Torah in honor of a simchah, in memory of a loved one or for a refuah shleimah to: ravflom@sbcglobal.net To subscribe to Cyber Torah, send an e-mail with the subject heading “Subscribe Cyber Torah” to: ravflom@sbcglobal.net To unsubscribe from Cyber Torah, send an e-mail with the subject heading “Unsubscribe Cyber Torah” to: ravflom@sbcglobal.net

Saintly Insight

9 Tevet 5773 / 21-22 December 2012

Parashat Vayiggash

Torah: Genesis 44:18 - 47:27

Haftarah: Ezekiel 37:15-28

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Saintly Insight

"(Joseph said,) 'Now, do not be distressed or reproach yourselves because you sold me here; it was to save life that God sent me ahead of you.'" Gen. 45:5

"As he sent his brothers off on their way, he told them, 'Do not be quarrelsome on the way.'"  Gen. 45:24

Immediately upon disclosing himself to his flabbergasted brothers, Joseph tells them not to worry - their selling him into Egyptian slavery was all part of God's plan to save the family of Jacob, and thus the Jewish people. Since God has been seemingly absent, or at least silent, from the Joseph cycle of stories, one must ask how Joseph knows that this is God's plan. Clearly, Joseph is a man of profound faith and saintliness. For all of those years in prison, there is nothing in the Torah to indicate that he plotted revenge against his brothers, complained about his situation or questioned God. The first opportunity he has to build himself up, in interpreting dreams, he says that interpretations come from God, not from himself. Now that he is regent over all Egypt, he makes it clear that not only is he not angry at his brothers, but that they have all been cogs in God's cosmic machine.

Such a high level of acceptance and forgiveness is something we should all strive for. But another, equally lofty goal is set for us in how he continues the conversation. "Do not reproach yourselves." "Do not be quarrelsome on the way." Joseph knows the ways of man, as well as the ways of God. He has the insight to realize that his brothers might now argue over who was responsible for selling Joseph into slavery, and causing years of grief for Jacob and guilt for themselves. Joseph tells them that they need not concern themselves with this sort of behavior. It is irrelevant in the face of the matter at hand - their survival as a family and our survival as a people.

Joseph teaches us two profound lessons in these two verses. One is that we have to trust in God that our lives will work out - there are reasons, even though we do not understand them at the time of events, even though we may never understand them – even though there may be no reasons at all. The other is that finger pointing and recriminations serve no useful purpose - they prevent us from getting on with the business of living our lives to the best of our abilities.

Each of us has a Joseph within. But we have to believe it in order to make it real in our lives.

Shabbat Shalom.

Rabbi Richard A. Flom
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"For the sake of Zion I will not be silent; for the sake of Jerusalem I will not be still." Isaiah 62:1

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Lunch and Learn is an ongoing program of Bet Midrash Shalom that meets most Tuesdays to discuss Jewish texts and other topics of Jewish interest. It is open to all regardless of affiliation. Next meeting is Tuesday, January 8, 12:00 noon, at Congregation Beth Meier, 11725 Moorpark St., Studio City, CA 91604. PLEASE DO NOT BRING ANY FOOD UNLESS IT IS IN ITS ORIGINAL SEALED CONTAINER AND BEARING A HEKHSHER AS DAIRY OR PAREVE.

Refuah Shleimah: Bobbie Chasen, Selby Horowitz, Pamela Huddleston, Sara Lanxner, Emily Levin, Frank Markowitz, Yitzchak Simcha ben Bayla, Herman Rassp, Helen Reiter, Len Reiter, Adin Ring, Gil Robbins, Rachel Robbins, Judith Sakurai, Helen Tomsky, Betty Varon and Seymour Waterman.

Cyber Torah list management (no salesman will call!):

Send requests for dedications of Cyber Torah in honor of a simchah, in memory of a loved one or for a refuah shleimah to: ravflom@sbcglobal.net

To subscribe to Cyber Torah, send an e-mail with the subject heading “Subscribe Cyber Torah” to: ravflom@sbcglobal.net

Parashat Miketz

2 Tevet 5773 / 14-15 December 2012

Torah: Genesis 41:1 - 44:17

Maftir: Numbers 7:48-53 (Shabbat Hanukkah)
Haftarah: Zechariah 2:14 - 4:7 (Shabbat Hanukkah)

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Repentance, Redemption and Forgiveness

"And Joseph said to them, 'This is what I spoke to you, saying, you are spies.'" Genesis 42:14

The sons of Jacob are put to the test. In order to demonstrate that they are not spies, they must bring Joseph's full brother, Benjamin, before the viceroy of Egypt (who, unbeknownst to them, is Joseph). He puts them in the same position, vis-a-vis Benjamin, that they were in regarding Joseph, when they abandoned him in the pit.

Nechama Leibowitz suggests that this is also a test of whether they have done teshuvah - to see if they have repented of what they did to Joseph. She cites Maimonides, who teaches that the test of true repentance is whether, given the opportunity to commit the same sin, the sinner refrains - out of repentance, rather than fear or weakness.

The brothers agree to the demand. But another aspect of teshuvah is admission - one must acknowledge and accept responsibility for the transgression. This they do, at verse 21, when "They said to each other, 'We are being punished on account of our brother, for we saw the anguish of his soul as he pleaded with us, and we would not hear.'" According to Rabbi David of Lilov, only then did their redemption begin - only then did God fill Joseph's heart with love and mercy.

Perhaps only then was Joseph able to forgive them. Repentance is a multi-step process. Neither words nor deeds alone suffice. The same is true of forgiveness. Ultimately, Joseph forgives not with mere words, but with hugs and kisses and gifts and acceptance - and reunion. It leads to one of the happiest scenes in the Torah. Try repenting for the hurt you've given others - try forgiving for the hurt you've endured. Hear the anguish of another's soul. You have nothing to lose but your unhappiness.

I wish you a Shabbat Shalom and a Chag Urim Sameach - a Shabbat and a Hanukkah of peace and light, joy and wisdom.

Rabbi Richard A. Flom - ZSRS '00
Blogging at: rav-rich.blogspot.com/
Visit me on Facebook

"For the sake of Zion I will not be silent; for the sake of Jerusalem I will not be still." Isaiah 62:1

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Refuah Shleimah: Bobbie Chasen, Selby Horowitz, Pamela Huddleston, Sara Lanxner, Emily Levin, Yitzchak Simcha ben Bayla, Herman Rassp, Helen Reiter, Len Reiter, Adin Ring, Gil Robbins, Rachel Robbins, Judith Sakurai, Helen Tomsky, Betty Varon and Seymour Waterman. 

Parashat Vayeishev
24 Kislev 5773 / 7-8 December 2012
Torah: Genesis 37:1 - 40:23
Haftarah: Amos 2:6 - 3:8 

Dedications and calendar follow below.

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We're No Angels

A man found (Joseph) wandering in the fields. The man asked him, "What are you looking for?" He answered, "I am looking for my brothers. Could you tell me where they are pasturing?" The man said, "They have gone from here, for I heard them say, 'Let us go to Dothan.'" So Joseph went after his brothers and found them at Dothan. Genesis 37:15-17

This meeting between Joseph and the man appears to be pure happenstance. If so, we might ask, what would have happened had they not met? No slavery for Joseph and the Israelites, no Exodus from Egypt, no receiving the Torah from God, no history as we know it! Many commentators respond by saying that it was no man, but an angel dispatched by God.

I would like to suggest that it was in fact a man, but one with a holy purpose - to give Joseph information and direction. Joseph had that purpose, too - to ultimately give direction to his family as well as all of Egypt; and to teach something to and to learn something from every person he met. Each of us, really, has the same holy purposes in life. Each of us has knowledge, wisdom and Torah to share with others and to give them direction, and we should do so. At the same time, we must seek out knowledge, wisdom and Torah from others. We're no angels, but we should treat others as if they were - think of what we, and they, would learn! Think of what our world would be like! If we kindle even one candle in ourselves and in our souls - the flame will spread to others and light our world.

Shabbat Shalom, v'Chag Urim Sameach - A Sabbath of Peace and a Joyful Festival of Lights!

Rabbi Richard A. Flom - ZSRS '00
Blogging at: rav-rich.blogspot.com/
Visit me on Facebook

"For the sake of Zion I will not be silent; for the sake of Jerusalem I will not be still." Isaiah 62:1
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This d'var torah is offered for a refuah shleimah for Bobbie Chasen, Selby Horowitz, Pamela Huddleston, Stephanie Kane, Sara Lanxner, Emily Levin, Yitzchak Simcha ben Bayla, Marshall Neiman, Steve Pearlman, Herman Rassp, Helen Reiter, Len Reiter, Adin Ring, Gil Robbins, Rachel Robbins, Judith Sakurai, Helen Tomsky, Betty Varon and Seymour Waterman.

Candlelighting: 4:25 PM

Saturday night is the first night of Hanukkah. Light the menorah after 5:24 pm. Happy Hanukkah!
Lunch and Learn is an ongoing program of Bet Midrash Shalom that meets most Tuesdays to discuss Jewish texts and other topics of Jewish interest. It is open to all regardless of affiliation. Next meeting is Tuesday, December 11, 12:00 noon, at Congregation Beth Meier, 11725 Moorpark St., Studio City , CA 91604 . PLEASE DO NOT BRING ANY FOOD UNLESS IT IS IN ITS ORIGINAL SEALED CONTAINER AND BEARING A HEKHSHER AS DAIRY OR PAREVE. Beth Meier and Bet Midrash Shalom are providing a light lunch of bagels, cream cheese, tuna salad and coffee. Thank you to Rabbi Aaron Benson and my fellow Beth Meier congregants for offering the space and the food.

This Shabbat Rabbi Flom will be conducting Shabbat morning services at 9:30 at Congregation Mishkon Tephilo, 206 Main Street, Venice 90291. Torah study follows kiddush.