FIRST THINGS FIRST

Parashat Vayetze
Kislev 12, 5781 / November 27-28, 2020
Torah: Genesis 28:10 - 32:3
Haftarah: Hosea 12:13 - 14:10 (Ashkenazim); Hosea 11:7 – 12:12 (Sephardim)

Candle-lighting for Friday: 4:26 PM PST - Sherman Oaks, CA

This d'var torah is offered in honor of my sister, Lorrie Flom, whose birthday falls on Sunday, November 29. Happy Birthday, Sis! Mazal tov!

This d'var torah is offered in honor of my son, Robert Flom, whose birthday falls on Tuesday, December 1. Happy Birthday, Sonny! Mazal tov!

This d'var torah is offered in memory of Anne Karam, who passed away on Saturday. Anne was the sister of my brother-in-law Jay Goodman. Y'hi zikhronah liv'rakhah – May her memory be a blessing

This d'var torah is offered in memory of Josef Sands, long-time member of Temple B’nai Hayim, who passed away on Sunday. Y'hi zikhrono liv'rakhah – May his memory be a blessing.

This d'var torah is offered in memory of my uncle, Daniel Flom, whose yahrzeit falls on Tuesday, Kislev 14. Y'hi zikhrono liv'rakhah – May his memory be a blessing.

Our Refuah Shleimah/Prayer for Healing List can be found at:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1iT0tdp45ITSU6o1tykah41m3IXBxBwLxe8FORSIXzDo/edit?usp=sharing

If you would like to have a name added or removed from this Prayer for Healing list, please write to me at: ravflom@sbcglobal.net

This week's Yahrzeit List can be found at:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1IvKK6of7m1YFiwWATXCfQXrBrjmLMfS_CAM3WhZ_fu4/edit?usp=sharing 

A list of all of our on-line activities can be found below. All our services and programs are available at: https://www.facebook.com/BnaiHayim      

With the COVID-19 epidemic, SOVA needs your donations more than ever. Please, bring some non-perishable canned and packaged foods and personal items, (no glass) to the lobby of TBH/CBM. Wear a mask, social distance, and help out those in need.

Please feel free to pass this on to a friend, and please cite the source.
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FIRST THINGS FIRST

“And Jacob vowed a vow, saying, ‘If God will be with me, and will guard me on this way that I am going, and will give me food to eat and clothing to wear, and I return in peace to my father’s house, then the Lord shall be my God.’” Genesis 28:20-21.

This is a somewhat troubling vow. Jacob seems to be saying that he will accept God as his God only if God grants his request for food, clothing and safety. One might say that, after all, Jacob is only human, and we humans make this kind of bargain all the time. “If I am cured of this disease, I will start putting on tefillin regularly.” “If I pass this exam, I will go the synagogue every Shabbat.” But it is unseemly in one of the Patriarchs.

Rabbi S. Z. Heller says that what Jacob is really saying is, “then I will be able to serve You properly.” He continues: We don’t say “Adon Olam” (Master of the Universe, the concluding hymn on Shabbat morning) until after we have said “Ma Tovu” (How Goodly Are Your Tents, the prayer said upon entering the synagogue). One’s physical needs must be attended to before one can engage in spiritual practice.

This brings to mind the teaching of Rabbi Israel Salanter, the founder of the Musar (ethics) movement. Rather than concerning oneself with one’s own physical needs and the spiritual lives of others, one should first attend to the physical needs of others and one’s own spiritual life. We can’t save souls unless we first save the bodies.

Perhaps what Rabbi Salanter is really telling us is that in saving the physical lives of others, we save our own souls.

Shabbat Shalom!

Rabbi Richard A. Flom
TBH/CBM
הַלּוֹמֵד מִכָּל אָדָם ?אֵיזֶהוּ חָכָם
Who is wise? The one who learns from every person.
Ben Zoma - Pirkei Avot 4:1
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UPCOMING EVENTS AND OTHER USEFUL INFO!

Shabbat Evening Service with Steve Pearlman and Rabbi Flom this Friday evening at 6:30 pm PST.

Shabbat Morning Service with Steve Pearlman and Rabbi Flom this Saturday at 10:00 am PST. Torah reading by Steve Pearlman and Warren Trauman. Haftarah chanted by Warren Trauman.

Downloadable and printable Siddur for Kabbalat Shabbat, Shabbat Ma'ariv, Shabbat/Festival Morning, and more, including the weekly Parashah and Haftarah, all available at:
http://www.rabbinicalassembly.org/form-download-e-siddur-0
Fill out the form - the download is free.

David Silon’s class “Jewish History” meets every Sunday at 11:00 am PST. But not this Sunday, November 29! Class resumes December 6.


Join us every Tuesday at 12:30 pm PST for Lunch and Learn, a 60-90 minute study session. We're learning Hasidic teachings on the weekly parashah. The study materials for the December 1 class, Parashat Vayishlach, can be found at:
https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/14hFjr0OeS4uypWOajgyQ5kS41Fgg6WNK?usp=sharing

Some excellent on-line Jewish resources are available at:
https://www.myjewishlearning.com/

You can subscribe to the Conservative Yeshivah’s weekly Torah Sparks via email here:
https://www.conservativeyeshiva.org/torahsparks/

Cyber Torah list management (no salesman will call!):
To subscribe to Cyber Torah, and receive Cyber Torah every week in your mailbox, send an e-mail with the subject heading “Subscribe Cyber Torah” to: ravflom@sbcglobal.net
Send requests for dedications of Cyber Torah in honor of a simchah, in memory of a loved one or for a refuah shleimah to: ravflom@sbcglobal.net
To unsubscribe from Cyber Torah, send an e-mail with the subject heading “Unsubscribe Cyber Torah” to: ravflom@sbcglobal.net 

DISEASE OF THE HEART

Parashat Tol’dot
Kislev 5, 5781/ November 20-21, 2020
Torah Reading - Genesis 25:19 - 28:9
Haftarah: Malachi 1:1- 2:7
 
Candle-lighting for Friday: 4:28 PM PDT - Sherman Oaks, CA  
 
Our Refuah Shleimah/Prayer for Healing List can be found at: 
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1iT0tdp45ITSU6o1tykah41m3IXBxBwLxe8FORSIXzDo/edit?usp=sharing 

If you would like to have a name added or removed from this Prayer for Healing list, please write to me at: ravflom@sbcglobal.net 
 
This week's Yahrzeit List can be found at: 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1IvKK6of7m1YFiwWATXCfQXrBrjmLMfS_CAM3WhZ_fu4/edit 

This d'var torah is offered in memory of Lynn's grandfather, Gabriel Stern, whose yahrzeit falls on Thursday, Kislev 10. Y'hi zikhro barukh. 

This d'var torah is offered in memory of Stuart Barth, whose yahrzeit falls on this Shabbat, Kislev 5. Y'hi zikhro barukh. 

A list of all of our on-line activities can be found below. All our services and programs are available at: https://www.facebook.com/BnaiHayim    

Some excellent on-line resources are available at: 

https://www.myjewishlearning.com/ 

With the COVID-19 epidemic, SOVA needs your donations more than ever. Please, bring some non-perishable canned and packaged foods and personal items, (no glass) to the lobby of TBH/CBM. Wear a mask, social distance, and help out those in need. 

Please feel free to pass this on to a friend, and please cite the source. 
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DISEASE OF THE HEART
 
“And Esau hated Jacob because of the blessing that his father had blessed upon (Jacob); and Esau said in his heart, ‘The days of mourning for my father are at hand; then I will kill my brother Jacob.’” Genesis 27:41
 
Rabbi Jonathan Eybeschutz (18th century) teaches that when a rabbi tells a butcher that a particular animal was improperly slaughtered and therefore not kosher, the butcher accepts the ruling, even though it costs him money. But when two men bring a monetary dispute before a rabbi, the loser will be angry and argue with the rabbi. R. Eybeschutz says that in the case of the butcher, nobody benefits from the ruling, but in the case of the dispute, the winner is awarded money – he gains a benefit. The loser resents the fact of the winner winning more than he resents his loss.
 
As between Esau and Jacob, he says that Esau is not angry because he lost the blessing from his father, because Esau didn’t want it. He actually got what he wanted – “by your sword shall you live.” Rather, he hated Jacob because Jacob also received something of value from their father.
 
This idea that we resent those who benefit more than we resent not benefitting is a difficult one to acknowledge, but it is all around us. We often see it in our political and “civil” discourse, couched in the language of racism or class warfare.
 
“Do not hate your fellow in your heart.” Leviticus 19:17. Failure to follow that simple rule can create a chasm that can never be bridged. Will we ever learn?
 
Shabbat Shalom Uv'rakhah! A Shabbat of Peace and Blessings! 

And Happy Thanksgiving! Hodu LaShem Ki Tov! 
 

Rabbi Richard A. Flom

TBH/CBM

הַלּוֹמֵד מִכָּל אָדָם ?אֵיזֶהוּ חָכָם

Who is wise? The one who learns from every person.

Ben Zoma - Pirkei Avot 4:1

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UPCOMING EVENTS AND OTHER USEFUL INFO! 

Shabbat Evening Service with Reb Jason and Rabbi Flom this Friday evening at 6:30 pm PDT.

Shabbat Morning Service with Reb Jason and Rabbi Flom this Saturday at 10:00 am PDT. Haftarah chanted by Rabbi Flom.

Downloadable and printable Siddur for Kabbalat Shabbat, Shabbat Ma'ariv, Shabbat/Festival Morning, and more, available at: 
http://www.rabbinicalassembly.org/form-download-e-siddur-0 

You can download both Siddur Sim Shalom and Siddur Lev Shalem, as well as the weekly Parashah and Haftarah at the above link. Fill out the form - the download is free.
 
David Silon’s class "Jewish DNA? The Science Behind the History, or Vice-Versa" meets every Sunday at 11:00 am PST. 

Join us every Tuesday at 12:30 pm PST for Lunch and Learn, a 60-90 minute study session. We're learning Hasidic teachings on the weekly parashah. 

The study materials for the November 24 class, Midrash on Parashat Vayeitzei, can be found at: 
https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1OlKYyIVKAkMbuKZWuEPJ7hA9xLuen03B?usp=sharing 

You can subscribe to the Conservative Yeshivah’s weekly Torah Sparks via email here: 
https://www.conservativeyeshiva.org/torahsparks/ 

Cyber Torah list management (no salesman will call!): 
To subscribe to Cyber Torah, and receive Cyber Torah every week in your mailbox, send an e-mail with the subject heading “Subscribe Cyber Torah” to: ravflom@sbcglobal.net 
Send requests for dedications of Cyber Torah in honor of a simchah, in memory of a loved one or for a refuah shleimah to: ravflom@sbcglobal.net 
To unsubscribe from Cyber Torah, send an e-mail with the subject heading “Unsubscribe Cyber Torah” to: ravflom@sbcglobal.net 

GUESS WHO’S COMING TO DINNER!

Cheshvan 27, 5781 / November 13-14, 2020
Parashat Chayei Sarah
Torah: Genesis 23:1 - 25:18
Haftarah: 1 Kings 1:1-31
 
Candle-lighting for Friday: 4:32 PM PDT - Sherman Oaks, CA  
 
Our Refuah Shleimah/Prayer for Healing List can be found at: 
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1iT0tdp45ITSU6o1tykah41m3IXBxBwLxe8FORSIXzDo/edit?usp=sharing 

If you would like to have a name added or removed from this Prayer for Healing list, please write to me at: ravflom@sbcglobal.net 

This week's Yahrzeit List can be found at: 
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1IvKK6of7m1YFiwWATXCfQXrBrjmLMfS_CAM3WhZ_fu4/edit?usp=sharing 

A list of all of our on-line activities can be found below. All our services and programs are available at: https://www.facebook.com/BnaiHayim   

A list of Zoom links to all our programs and services is available at: 
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1M5jzfligR7kovoXdiEeah3pd2R4fiJi8NHarmrMEEzM/edit?usp=sharing 

Some excellent on-line resources are available at: 
https://www.myjewishlearning.com/ 

With the COVID-19 epidemic, SOVA needs your donations more than ever. Please, bring some non-perishable canned and packaged foods and personal items, (no glass) to the lobby of TBH/CBM. Wear a mask, social distance, and help out those in need. 

Please feel free to pass this on to a friend, and please cite the source. 
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GUESS WHO’S COMING TO DINNER!

“And Isaac brought her into the tent of Sarah his mother; he married Rebecca, she became his wife, and he loved her; and Isaac was comforted after his mother.” Genesis 24:67

Rashi: He brought her to the tent, and behold, she was Sarah his mother! That is to say, she became like Sarah his mother. For as long as Sarah was alive, a candle burned from one Shabbat eve to the next, a blessing was found in the dough and a cloud was attached to the tent. When she died, these things ceased, and when Rebecca came, they resumed (citing Genesis Rabbah 60:16). 

According to the Midrash, Sarah was the first to kindle Shabbat lights and to take challah (a symbolic offering) from dough and recite a blessing over it. In doing these things, she caused the Shekhinah (the Divine Presence, symbolized by the cloud) to descend to her home. Isaac and Abraham either could not or would not do these things. It was Rebecca, the wife who replaced (became?) the mother, who reinstituted the practices, and brought about the return of the Shekhinah.

There are several ways to look at this. First is a rather obvious oedipal reference. Then is the implication that kindling lights for Shabbat and baking are gender specific jobs – women’s work. We could also derive the female viewpoint that men are clueless when it comes to certain matters. However, I am more interested in mystical cause and effect.

Simply by kindling Shabbat lights and reciting a blessing over the dough, Sarah and Rebecca (and any of us!) could bring God’s Sheltering Presence into the home. What’s the mystery? Take a couple of mundane acts, baking bread and lighting candles, infuse them and yourself with holiness through kavannah (focused intent) and by reciting the appropriate blessings (the hamotzi bessing can be inferred here as well), and you have instant Shalom Bayit, a peaceful household. 

This Friday evening, perform the simple mitzvah of Shabbat candles; then look at the light, marvel at the Creation it symbolizes, and bring the Shekhinah home for dinner!

Chaverim, if you would like to bring the Shekhinah into another person's life, please consider becoming an organ donor. This weekend is National Donor Sabbath, a project of the US Department of Health and Human Services. More information is available at the web site:

https://www.organdonor.gov/awareness/events/donor-sabbath.html  

Last year, about 40,000 organ transplants were performed in the US. This is impressive, until one realizes that there are about 120,000 Americans on the waiting lists for various organs. Every day, 80 transplants are performed in the US, while 20 people die waiting for organs they need to survive. You can alleviate the pain and suffering of others, literally give them life, merely by completing an organ donation card available from your motor vehicle department or at the web site above.

Does it work? Of course! Most of our parts are “recyclable”. And don’t forget, there are ways to save lives while we are still alive – through blood, plasma, platelet and bone marrow donations, and as living organ donors. Go ahead – perform an act of chesed (lovingkindness) or pikuach nefesh (savng a life) – and the Shekhinah will be with you and every organ recipient whose life you save.

Shabbat Shalom Uv'rakhah! A Shabbat of Peace and Blessings 

Rabbi Richard A. Flom 
TBH/CBM
"שתיקה כהודאה דמיא"
"Silence in the face of wrongdoing is consent.”
BT Yevamot 87b
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UPCOMING EVENTS AND OTHER USEFUL INFO! 

Shabbat Evening Service with Reb Jason and Rabbi Flom this Friday evening at 6:30 pm PDT.

Shabbat Morning Service with Reb Jason and Rabbi Flom this Saturday at 10:00 am PDT. Haftarah chanted by Barry Glass.

Downloadable and printable Siddur for Kabbalat Shabbat, Shabbat Ma'ariv, Shabbat/Festival Morning, and more, available at: 
http://www.rabbinicalassembly.org/form-download-e-siddur-0 

You can download both Siddur Sim Shalom and Siddur Lev Shalem, as well as the weekly Parashah and Haftarah at the above link. 

David Silon’s class "Jewish DNA? The Science Behind the History, or Vice-Versa" meets every Sunday at 11:00 am PST. 

Join us every Tuesday at 12:30 pm PST for Lunch and Learn, a 60-90 minute study session. We're learning Hasidic teachings on the weekly parashah. 

The study materials for the November 17 class, Midrash on Parashat Tol’dot, can be found at: 

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/16iYXU2p7Dwiaj5G6X9J7rDLJSfy7i9JZ?usp=sharing 

This Sunday, November 15 at 2:00 pm PST, TBH/CBM will host a Special Lecture by Dr. Jonathan Dobrer, "We're Still Here! Why Judaism Survived and Will Survive Despite the Odds". Please register for the Zoom link by calling the synagogue office at: (818) 788-4664 or by sending an email to bnaihayim@yahoo.com or to office@bethmeier.org 

You can subscribe to the Conservative Yeshivah’s weekly Torah Sparks via email here: 
https://www.conservativeyeshiva.org/torahsparks/ 

Cyber Torah list management (no salesman will call!): 
To subscribe to Cyber Torah, and receive Cyber Torah every week in your mailbox, send an e-mail with the subject heading “Subscribe Cyber Torah” to: ravflom@sbcglobal.net 

Send requests for dedications of Cyber Torah in honor of a simchah, in memory of a loved one or for a refuah shleimah to: ravflom@sbcglobal.net 
To unsubscribe from Cyber Torah, send an e-mail with the subject heading “Unsubscribe Cyber Torah” to: ravflom@sbcglobal.net 

GOD DOESN’T ALWAYS COME FIRST!

Cheshvan 20, 5781/ November 6-7, 2020
Parashat Vayera
Torah: Genesis 18:1 - 22:24
Haftarah: 2 Kings 4:1-37 (Ashkenazim); 2 Kings 4:1-23 (Sephardim)

Candle-lighting for Friday: 4:37 PM PDT - Sherman Oaks, CA  

This d'var Torah is offered in honor of my family members:

Jacob Slome - US Army - WW1

David Flom, MD - US Army - WW2

Merton Flom, OD, PhD - US Navy - WW2

Abraham Kronzek - US Navy - WW2

Leo Kronzek - US Army - WW2

Joseph Kronzek - US Army - WW2

Ira Erenrich - US Army - WW2

Martin Flom - US Air Force - Korean War

Hans Schack - US Army - 1950s

Merwin Erenbaum - US Army - 1950s

and every veteran who has honorably served in the armed forces of the United States. Raise your flag on Wednesday, November 11 to honor them. 

LMU Annual Kristallnacht Commemoration

• On November 9th, at 5:00 pm, Loyola Marymount University is hosting its Annual Kristallnacht Commemoration virtually. This year's commemoration will honor the victims of the Holocaust and honor those who despite their own hardships continued to maintain their dignity in order to help others. The program will feature David Silberklang, senior historian in the International Institute for Holocaust Research, Yad Vashem, and LMU students' reflections. Register here. The virtual event will include a community slideshow that features family photographs of loved ones affected by the Holocaust. If you have photos that you would like to be featured, please send digital copies to events@lmu.edu. 

Our Refuah Shleimah/Prayer for Healing List can be found at: 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1iT0tdp45ITSU6o1tykah41m3IXBxBwLxe8FORSIXzDo/edit?usp=sharing

If you would like to have a name added or removed from this Prayer for Healing list, please write to me at: ravflom@sbcglobal.net

This week's Yahrzeit List can be found at: 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1IvKK6of7m1YFiwWATXCfQXrBrjmLMfS_CAM3WhZ_fu4/edit 

A list of all of our on-line activities can be found below. All our services and programs are available at: https://www.facebook.com/BnaiHayim 

A list of Zoom links to all our programs and services is available at:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1M5jzfligR7kovoXdiEeah3pd2R4fiJi8NHarmrMEEzM/edit?usp=sharing

Some excellent on-line resources are available at:
https://www.myjewishlearning.com/

With the COVID-19 epidemic, SOVA needs your donations more than ever. Please, bring some non-perishable canned and packaged foods and personal items, (no glass) to the lobby of TBH/CBM. Wear a mask, social distance, and help out those in need.

Please feel free to pass this on to a friend, and please cite the source.
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GOD DOESN’T ALWAYS COME FIRST!

"And the Lord appeared to (Abraham) at the terebinths (trees used to make a kind of turpentine) of Mamre while he was sitting at the entrance of the tent in the heat of the day. He lifted his eyes and saw there were three men standing above him; he ran from the entrance of the tent to greet them, and bowed toward the ground. And he said, 'My Lord, if I find favor in Your eyes, please do not pass away from Your servant.'" Genesis 18:1-3.

At first reading, one would think that God appeared to Abraham in the form of the three men. Therefore, he bowed and addressed them as "My Lord".

However, Rabbinic tradition teaches that these are two separate events. God was visiting Abraham following Abraham's circumcision, and then the three men appeared. Abraham (in his pain!) literally ran from God to greet the men. He then asked God to wait while he attended to the needs of the men!

This might seem extraordinarily disrespectful to God. Not so, according to the Rabbis. "Rabbi Judah said in the name of Rav: 'Hospitality to guests is greater than greeting the Divine Presence.'" (BT Shabbat 127a) How can this be?

For one thing, if God is the Omnipresent, one can never leave God's Presence. Second, if God is the Eternal, then "waiting" is not in God's vocabulary - it's simply not a problem. Perhaps most important, God does not have physical needs, but human beings do; and they must be attended to. In taking leave of God in order to extend hospitality to three strangers who appeared out of the desert, Abraham was actually honoring God - by caring for those who are created "in the image of God".

This implies that if one must choose between fulfilling a “mitzvah bein adam lamakom” (a mitzvah between a person and God) or a “mitzvah bein adam l’chavero” (between one person and another person), we should attend to the mitzvah involving another person first. (See, for example, the Mishnah at Peah 1:1: “These are the things for which a person reaps the fruits in this world, and gets a reward in the world to come: honoring one's father and mother, acts of lovingkindness, and bringing peace between people.”) When we treat others to our hospitality (or feed them or clothe them or house them or provide them with medical treatment or bury them), we do indeed find favor in God's eyes.

Shabbat Shalom Uv'rakhah! A Shabbat of Peace and Blessings

Rabbi Richard A. Flom
TBH/CBM
"שתיקה כהודאה דמיא"
"Silence in the face of wrongdoing is consent.”
BT Yevamot 87b
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UPCOMING EVENTS AND OTHER USEFUL INFO!

Coool Shabbat/Evening Service with Steve Pearlman and Rabbi Flom this Friday evening at 6:30 pm PDT.

Shabbat Morning Adventure Service with Reb Jason Van Leeuwen, Steve Pearlman, and Rabbi Flom this Saturday at 10:00 am PDT. Haftarah chanted by Steve Pearlman.

Downloadable and printable Siddur for Kabbalat Shabbat, Shabbat Ma'ariv, Shabbat/Festival Morning, and more, available at:
http://www.rabbinicalassembly.org/form-download-e-siddur-0

You can download both Siddur Sim Shalom and Siddur Lev Shalem, as well as the weekly Parashah and Haftarah at the above link.

David Silon’s class "Jewish DNA? The Science Behind the History, or Vice-Versa" meets every Sunday at 11:00 am PST.

Join us every Tuesday at 12:30 pm PST for Lunch and Learn, a 60-90 minute study session. We're learning midrash on the weekly parashah.

The study materials for the November 10 class, Midrash on Parashat Chayei Sarah, can be found at: 

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1CJP41KiMssFuLwJI9jC6nyMOy07TGLYT?usp=sharing 

On Sunday, November 15 at 2:00 pm PST, TBH/CBM will host a Special Lecture by Dr. Jonathan Dobrer, "We're Still Here! Why Judaism Survived and Will Survive Despite the Odds". Please register for the Zoom link by calling the synagogue office at: (818) 788-4664 or send an email to: bnaihayim@yahoo.com or office@bethmeier.org 

You can subscribe to the Conservative Yeshivah’s weekly Torah Sparks via email here:
https://www.conservativeyeshiva.org/torahsparks/

Cyber Torah list management (no salesman will call!):
To subscribe to Cyber Torah, and receive Cyber Torah every week in your mailbox, send an e-mail with the subject heading “Subscribe Cyber Torah” to: ravflom@sbcglobal.net
Send requests for dedications of Cyber Torah in honor of a simchah, in memory of a loved one or for a refuah shleimah to: ravflom@sbcglobal.net
To unsubscribe from Cyber Torah, send an e-mail with the subject heading “Unsubscribe Cyber Torah” to: ravflom@sbcglobal.net