REPENTANCE, REDEMPTION AND FORGIVENESS

Kislev 30, 5782 / December 3-4, 2021
Parashat Miketz (Shabbat Rosh Chodesh)
Torah: Genesis 41:1 - 44:17 (Aliyot 1-6)
Shabbat Rosh Chodesh: Numbers 28:9-15 (Aliyah 7)
Maftir: Numbers 7:42-47 (Shabbat Hanukkah)
Haftarah: Zechariah 2:14 - 4:7 (Shabbat Hanukkah); Sephardim add: Isaiah 66:1, 23 (Rosh Chodesh) and 1 Samuel 20:18, 42 (Machar Chodesh)
 
This d'var torah is offered for a refuah shleimah for Feigel bat Kreina and D'vorah bat Feigel. 
 
Lunch and Learn meets Tuesday at 12:30 PM on Zoom and Facebook Live. We’re continuing to read and discuss the Midrashic collection Ein Ya’akov.  A link to the reading is here:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Jt-NLamlIiAGpBhU7WNrCVZGBYhHHWCN/view?usp=sharing 
On December 7, we’ll be continuing from the last paragraph of page 27, "Daber na b'oznai ha'am" - "Speak, please, in the ears of the people".

Check out our wonderful community, and get lots of info about becoming a Chaver and our various programs, at:
https://bnaihayim.org/ 

Rabbi Van Leeuwen has a blog which you should read at: 
https://rebjasonblog.wordpress.com/blog/     
 
Please feel free to pass this on to a friend, and please cite the source.
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REPENTANCE, REDEMPTION AND FORGIVENESS
 
"And Joseph said to them, 'This is what I spoke to you, saying, you are spies.'" Genesis 42:14
 
The sons of Jacob are put to the test. In order to demonstrate that they are not spies, they must bring Joseph's full brother, Benjamin, before the viceroy of Egypt (who, unbeknownst to them, is Joseph). He puts them in the same position, vis-a-vis Benjamin, that they were in regarding Joseph, when they abandoned him in the pit.
 
Nechama Leibowitz suggests that this is also a test of whether they have done teshuvah - to see if they have repented of what they did to Joseph. She cites Maimonides, who teaches that the test of true repentance is whether, given the opportunity to commit the same sin, the sinner refrains - out of repentance, rather than fear or weakness.
 
The brothers agree to the demand. But another aspect of teshuvah is admission - one must acknowledge and accept responsibility for the transgression. This they do, at verse 21, when "They said to each other, 'We are being punished on account of our brother, for we saw the anguish of his soul as he pleaded with us, and we would not hear.'" According to Rabbi David of Lilov, only then did their redemption begin - only then did God fill Joseph's heart with love and mercy.

"Joseph Recognized by His Brothers" - Anne Louis Girodet De Roussy Trioson - 1789

 
Perhaps only then was Joseph able to forgive them. Repentance is a multi-step process. Neither words nor deeds alone suffice. The same is true of forgiveness. Ultimately, Joseph forgives not with mere words, but with hugs and kisses and gifts and acceptance - and reunion. It leads to one of the happiest scenes in the Torah. Try repenting for the hurt you've given others - try forgiving for the hurt you've endured. Hear the anguish of another's soul. You have nothing to lose but your unhappiness.
 
Shabbat Shalom! Chag Urim Sameach!
 
Rabbi Richard A. Flom
הַלּוֹמֵד מִכָּל אָדָם ?אֵיזֶהוּ חָכָם
Who is wise?  The one who learns from every person.
Ben Zoma - Pirkei Avot 4:1
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PRINCE OR SLAVE?

Parashat Vayeishev

Torah: Genesis 37:1 – 40:23

Haftarah: Amos 2:6 – 3:8

Kislev 23, 5782 / November 26-27, 2021

This d'var torah is offered for a refuah shleimah for Chanah Elisheva bat Minnie Leah, Feigel bat Kreina, and D'vorah bat Feigel. 

This d'var torah is offered in honor of our son, Robert Flom, who is celebrating his birthday with us on Wednesday, December 1. Yom huledet sameach! Ad meah v'esrim!

This d'var torah is offered in honor of my sister, Lorrie Flom, who is celebrating her birthday on Monday, November 29. Yom huledet sameach! Ad meah v'esrim!
 
Lunch and Learn meets Tuesday at 12:30 PM on Zoom and Facebook Live. We’re continuing to read and discuss the Midrashic collection Ein Ya’akov.  A link to the reading is here:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Jt-NLamlIiAGpBhU7WNrCVZGBYhHHWCN/view?usp=sharing 

On November 30, we’ll be continuing from the bottom of page 23, "V'amar Rebbi Yochanan mishum Rebbi Shimon bar Yochai" - "And again Rebbi Yochanan said in the name of Rebbi Shimon bar Yochai"

Thursday, November 25 is Thanksgiving Day! Take a moment to recite Hallel at your dinner table, just like we do at the Seder Shel Pesach. Hodu l'adonai ki tov - Give thanks to the Lord who is good! 

Sunday evening, November 28 is the first night of Hanukkah. Chag Urim Sameach!

Check out our wonderful community, and get lots of info about becoming a Chaver and our various programs, at:
https://bnaihayim.org/ 

Rabbi Van Leeuwen has a blog which you should read at: 
https://rebjasonblog.wordpress.com/blog/     

Please feel free to pass this on to a friend, and please cite the source.
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PRINCE OR SLAVE?

"And it came to pass after these things that the cupbearer of the king of Egypt and his baker had sinned against their master, the king of Egypt. Pharaoh was angry at his two princes - the prefect of the cupbearers and the prefect of the bakers." Genesis 40:1-2

Joseph Interpreting Dreams in Prison - Claude Vignon, 1620s

Rabbi Samson Raphael Hirsch says that the reference to the two courtiers as "princes" is mockery. To those who served beneath them, they were "princes", wielding great power; but to the king, they were nothing more than slaves with fancy titles. He threw them into prison for no apparent reason. The cupbearer and baker failed to understand that, when one's position is dependent solely upon the whim of one's superior, one's position is, at best, precarious.

So it is all too often with people who attain positions of power granted by another. They clothe themselves in self-importance. The opinions of those who work for them are irrelevant. These "princes" believe that direct contact with the king somehow makes them as powerful as the king.

The most desirable community, it seems to me, is one where every member, whether leader or not, fully understands that they are serving a higher purpose; where there is no self-aggrandizement, no delusion of grandeur interfering with their dedication and perseverance. Fortunate is that community whose leaders understand that they are NOT royalty. Equally fortunate are the leaders and workers who serve that community which does not treat them like slaves. I am thankful to be a member of such a community! May it be thus for all of us.

Shabbat Shalom! Chag Urim Sameach!

Rabbi Richard A. Flom

הַלּוֹמֵד מִכָּל אָדָם ?אֵיזֶהוּ חָכָם

Who is wise?  The one who learns from every person.

Ben Zoma - Pirkei Avot 4:1

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Send requests for dedications of Cyber Torah in honor of a simchah, in memory of a loved one or for a refuah shleimah to: ravflom@sbcglobal.net  
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WE STILL WILL NOT BE SILENCED

Last Sunday, Lynn and I had occasion to visit the Wende Museum and Archive of the Cold War in Culver City. We attended the opening of a new exhibit, "Soviet Jewish Life: Bill Aron and Yevgeniy Fiks" and a panel discussion to introduce the exhibit. Those too young to remember the “Free Soviet Jewry” movement and the refusenik “Prisoners of Zion” in the USSR and other Communist bloc countries would have been astonished to hear of the treatment of Jews in the former Soviet Union, even those who had no desire to leave for Israel. Examples: internal passports with “Jew” as one’s nationality; summer camps where Jewish kids were told they were restricted to playing chess, because “Jews don’t play soccer”; books as different as Graetz’s “History of the Jews” (published 1853) or Leon Uris’ novel “Exodus” or basic Hebrew grammar were banned samizdat, possession of which could mean three years in prison, printing and distribution of which could mean six or more years in prison; the KGB monitored the few synagogues that were in operation, with rabbis appointed and controlled by the State; anyone who asked for permission to make aliyah to Israel would lose their jobs and their apartments, and were sometimes banished to Siberia or imprisoned. 

I cried as these memories came flooding back. And I began to worry. Could state-sponsored anti-semitism ever arise in the United States? We might think such a thing is impossible, yet the Jews of Weimar Germany thought the same of their country. Ha! And the USSR “officially” opposed anti-semitism. Double ha! 

There is a growing number of Christian nationalists in this country who fervently believe that Christianity should be the one and only official religion of the US (see e.g., Michael Flynn in the sanctuary of John Hagee's Cornerstone Church, advocating “one religion” in the US: https://www.timesofisrael.com/michael-flynn-calls-for-us-to-have-one-religion-sparks-outrage-from-jewish-groups/), and that Jews and others seek to replace white Christians with immigrant people of color (the “Great Replacement” conspiracy theory that drove the terrorist attacks against Tree of Life synagogue in Pittsburgh, Al Noor Mosque in Christchurch, New Zealand, Chabad in Poway, and Walmart in El Paso). The thugs in Charlottesville chanted, "The Jews will not replace us." But such ideas are not necessarily espoused only by unknown fringe kooks – Tucker Carlson, whose nightly show on Fox News has one of the largest audiences of any cable news show, is a frequent purveyor of these ideas, as have been other Fox “personalities” such as Laura Ingraham and Jeanine Pirro (see: https://www.businessinsider.com/racist-great-replacement-conspiracy-far-alt-right-gop-mainstream-2020-9) Former US Rep. Steve King (R–IA) and current US Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-FL) and US Rep. Lauren Boebert (R–CO) have also made these claims. Few in their political party, and for that matter far too few in the US generally, have denounced this hatred. The profound silence of churches and “people of good will” is deafening – just as it was in 1930s Germany. 

The great bulk of the Jewish community in the US has long been active in fighting for the rights of immigrants and of people of color. That’s NOT going to change. Nor will Jewish resistance to converting to Christianity. As I wrote in response to the 2018 Tree of Life terrorist attack: 

“We will not be silenced. We will not go gentle into that good night. We Jews will always rage against the dying of the light – for THAT is what we were chosen for. THAT is what we have always done. And THAT is what we ask of God and every decent human being on Earth in Aleinu (one of the concluding prayers of the Jewish worship service - RAF) – to work together to repair and perfect a shattered world, and not let the light go out. 

“Silence is complicity. We Will Not Be Silenced.” 

Hanukkah is coming. We will not let the light go out. We will not be silent. 

What about you?

DON’T GIVE UP THE FIGHT!

Parashat Vayishlach
Kislev 16, 5782 / November 19-20, 2021
Torah - Genesis 32:4 – 36:43
Haftarah – Ovadiah 1:1-21 (Sephardim and most Ashkenazim); Hosea 11:7 – 12:12 (some Ashkenazim – what I grew up with)
 
This d'var torah is offered for a refuah shleimah for Chanah Elisheva bat Minnie Leah, Feigel bat Kreina, and D'vorah bat Feigel. 

This d'var torah is offered in memory of my uncle, David Flom, whose yahrzeit falls on Thursday, Kislev 21. Y'hi zikhro barukh - may his memory be a blessing.
 
Lunch and Learn meets Tuesday at 12:30 PM on Zoom and Facebook Live. We’re continuing to read and discuss the Midrashic collection Ein Ya’akov.  A link to the reading is here:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Jt-NLamlIiAGpBhU7WNrCVZGBYhHHWCN/view?usp=sharing 

On November 16, we’ll be continuing from the top of page 16, "Amar Rebbi Chelbo amar Rav Huna" - "R. Chelbo in the name of R. Huna said..." 

Check out our wonderful community, and get lots of info about becoming a Chaver and our various programs, at:
https://bnaihayim.org/ 

Rabbi Van Leeuwen has a blog which you should read at: 
https://rebjasonblog.wordpress.com/blog/     

Please feel free to pass this on to a friend, and please cite the source.
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DON’T GIVE UP THE FIGHT!
 
'And (the angel) said, "Your name shall no longer be Jacob, but Israel; for you have striven with God and with humans, and you have prevailed.'" Genesis 32:29

 

Jacob Wrestling with the Angel - Leon Joseph Florentin Bonnat, ca. 1876

Jewish tradition, going back to the opening chapters of Genesis, holds that names contain the essential being of the person, place or thing named. We Jews have been called the "Children of Israel" or the "People Israel" for longer than we have been called "Jews". The origin of the name is given in our verse. Does "Israel" describe our very essence?

Consider first the struggle with other people. In the course of the Tanakh itself, our people struggled with Canaanites, Egyptians, Philistines, Assyrians, Babylonians, and others. Since then, we have striven with Greeks, Romans, Crusaders, Cossacks, Nazis, Soviets, and many others. We have not always prevailed, in the sense of military victory - quite the contrary - no significant military victories from circa 165 BCE until 1948 CE. Yet, to the extent any people or nations at all exist today using those names, they are quite different from what they were. And what about us? We are still here, so we have prevailed; but we are still "a people apart", still struggling to be "a light unto the nations", still fighting sometimes for the very right to be Jews.
 
Now consider contention with God. From Abraham until modern times, Jews have wrestled with God. Our people at times have refused to follow God's word, sometimes at a heavy price. More often, our people have listened to God, yet still paid a price. We ask, "God, what do you want from us?" "God, what do these words mean, why do you command us to do such and such?" "God, where were You when the Temple was destroyed, when our people were being slaughtered at Auschwitz, and all the other times?" "Shall not the Judge of the entire world act justly?" Sometimes, there is more than one "right" answer. Sometimes, there is no satisfactory answer. Sometimes, there is no answer, no response at all. 

If we surrender to the forces around us, we give up the right to call ourselves Israel. It is not prevailing that matters; it is the very struggle with God and with man that defines the essence of being a Jew. Don't give up the fight!
 
Shabbat Shalom!
 
Richard A. Flom, Rabbi Emeritus
TBH/CBM
Sherman Oaks, CA
".איזה הוא חכם? הלומד מכל אדם"
Who is wise? The one who learns from every person.
Ben Zoma - Pirkei Avot 4:1
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Cyber Torah list management (no salesman will call!):
To subscribe to Cyber Torah, send an e-mail with the subject heading “Subscribe Cyber Torah” to: ravflom@sbcglobal.net  
Send requests for dedications of Cyber Torah in honor of a simchah, in memory of a loved one or for a refuah shleimah to: ravflom@sbcglobal.net  
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WORDS AS A MATTER OF FATE

 

Parashat Vayetze

Kislev 9, 5782 / November 12-13, 2021

Torah: Genesis 28:10 – 32:3
Haftarah: Hosea 12:13 – 14:10 (Ashkenazim); Hosea 11:7 – 12:12 (Sephardim)

 

This d'var torah is offered for a refuah shleimah for Chanah Elisheva bat Minnie Leah, Feigel bat Kreina, and D'vorah bat Feigel. 

This d'var torah is offered in memory of Lynn's grandfather, Gabriel Stern, whose yahrzeit falls on Sunday, Kislev 10. Y'hi zikhro barukh - may his memory be a blessing.

This d'var torah is offered in memory of my uncle, Daniel Flom, whose yahrzeit falls on Thursday, Kislev 14. Y'hi zikhro barukh - may his memory be a blessing.

This d'var torah is offered in honor of America's veterans. Thank you for our service! Fly your flag on Thursday, November 11.
 
Lunch and Learn meets Tuesday at 12:30 PM on Zoom and Facebook Live. We’re continuing to read and discuss the Midrashic collection Ein Ya’akov.  A link to the reading is here:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Jt-NLamlIiAGpBhU7WNrCVZGBYhHHWCN/view?usp=sharing 
On November 16, we’ll be continuing from the top of page 16, "Amar Rebbi Chelbo amar Rav Huna" - "R. Chelbo in the name of R. Huna said..." 
 
Check out our wonderful community, and get lots of info about becoming a Chaver and our various programs, at:
https://bnaihayim.org/ 
 
Rabbi Van Leeuwen has a blog which you should read at: 
https://rebjasonblog.wordpress.com/blog/    
 
Please feel free to pass this on to a friend, and please cite the source.
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WORDS AS A MATTER OF FATE

"Leah was tender eyed; but Rachel was of comely form and comely appearance." Genesis 29:17

Rashi - For Leah believed that she was fated to marry Esau (who was not a nice person), and she cried; for all said, "Rebecca has two sons and Laban has two daughters - the elder to the elder and the younger to the younger."

Raphael - Jacob, Leah, and Rachel

The Kotzker Rebbe, Menachem Mendel, wonders why Leah cared what people said, since the custom is that the woman must consent to the marriage. She could not have been forced to marry Esau. Nevertheless, he says, we learn that one is unable to reject or ignore what the world says, but is concerned. So when everyone "said", Leah cried.

Words often take on a power of their own. If we say something enough times, we come to believe it is true. If we say often enough that some event is fated to occur, we may subconsciously cause it to come about, lest we be proven wrong. And the person about whom we speak comes to fear that as well. Words can be the cause of undesired effects. Shamor et halashon! Guard that tongue!

Shabbat Shalom.

Richard A. Flom, Rabbi Emeritus
TBH/CBM
Sherman Oaks, CA
".איזה הוא חכם? הלומד מכל אדם"
Who is wise? The one who learns from every person.
Ben Zoma - Pirkei Avot 4:1
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Cyber Torah list management (no salesman will call!):
To subscribe to Cyber Torah, send an e-mail with the subject heading “Subscribe Cyber Torah” to: ravflom@sbcglobal.net  
Send requests for dedications of Cyber Torah in honor of a simchah, in memory of a loved one or for a refuah shleimah to: ravflom@sbcglobal.net  
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THE WEARINESS OF PARENTHOOD

Parashat Tol'dot
Kislev 2, 5782 / November 5-6, 2021
Torah Reading - Genesis 25:19 - 28:9
Haftarah: Malachi 1:1- 2:7
 
This d'var torah is offered for a refuah shleimah for Chanah Elisheva bat Minnie Leah, Feigel bat Kreina, and D'vorah bat Feigel. 
 
Lunch and Learn meets Tuesday, November 9 at 12:30 PM on Zoom and Facebook Live. We’re continuing to read and discuss the Midrashic collection Ein Ya’akov.  A link to the reading is here:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Jt-NLamlIiAGpBhU7WNrCVZGBYhHHWCN/view?usp=sharing 
We’ll be continuing from the top of page 13, "Tanya Abba Binyamin omer..." - "It is taught that Abba Benjamin said..." 
 
Check out our wonderful community, and get lots of info about becoming a Chaver and our various programs, at:
https://bnaihayim.org/ 
 
Rabbi Van Leeuwen has a blog which you should read at: 
https://rebjasonblog.wordpress.com/blog/    
 
Please feel free to pass this on to a friend, and please cite the source.
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THE WEARINESS OF PARENTHOOD
 
"And Rebekah said to Isaac, 'I am weary of my life...'" (Gen. 27:46)
 
Rashi: It means "I despise (or reject) my life."
 
"And Isaac sent Jacob away; and he went to Paddan-aram to Laban, son of Betuel the Aramean, the brother of Rebekah, the mother of Jacob and Esau."  (Gen. 28:5)
 
Rashi: I do not know what (the addition of the words "the mother of Jacob and Esau") teaches us.
 
The Rabbis teach that there are no superfluous words in the Torah. Every word has meaning. Rashi, the medieval French commentator on Torah and Talmud, is unable to explain why the Torah identified Rebekah in this way, after the entire parashah had been devoted to the lives of Jacob and Esau, and to their relationships between themselves and with their parents.

                                           Isaac Blessing Jacob (Gerbrand van den Eeckhout)

 
Later commentators explain the "superfluous" words in the context of Rebekah's fear that one brother might kill the other. I would suggest, however, that those words may explain why Rebekah despised her life. She had favored Jacob throughout his life. After she helped Jacob deceive Isaac in obtaining the blessing meant for Esau, the Torah identifies her as the mother of both Jacob and Esau to remind her of her failed relationship with Esau. Esau is an avenging victim of Rebekah's cunning bent on murdering Jacob, which is as much her responsibility as it is that of Isaac, who had always favored Esau.
 
We teach our children in both positive and negative ways. Rebekah taught Jacob how to be an achiever, maybe even an over-achiever, through guile. She taught both sons that action, not passivity, was the way to get ahead in the world. Jacob learned to seize what he wanted at any cost. Esau literally developed a killer instinct, and purposed to hunt down his brother like any other prey. Realizing her responsibility for what both boys have become, she despises her life. Although neither will lose his life, Jacob will become physically distant from his parents, and Esau emotionally distant, as a direct result of Rebekah's actions. As far as can be told from the Torah, Jacob never sees his mother alive again after he leaves for Paddan-aram.
 
"One who makes trouble for his household shall inherit the wind." Proverbs 11:29  Rebekah had two sons and ended up with none. What are we teaching our children?
 
Shabbat Shalom.

Richard A. Flom, Rabbi Emeritus
TBH/CBM
Sherman Oaks, CA
".איזה הוא חכם? הלומד מכל אדם"
Who is wise? The one who learns from every person.
Ben Zoma - Pirkei Avot 4:1
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Cyber Torah list management (no salesman will call!):
To subscribe to Cyber Torah, send an e-mail with the subject heading “Subscribe Cyber Torah” to: ravflom@sbcglobal.net  
Send requests for dedications of Cyber Torah in honor of a simchah, in memory of a loved one or for a refuah shleimah to: ravflom@sbcglobal.net  
To unsubscribe from Cyber Torah, send an e-mail with the subject heading “Unsubscribe Cyber Torah” to: ravflom@sbcglobal.net