SAINTLY INSIGHT

Tevet 7, 5786 / December 26-27

Parashat Vayiggash
Torah: Genesis 44:18 - 47:27
Haftarah: Ezekiel 37:15-28

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This d'var torah is offered in honor of my wonderful life partner Lynn Kronzek, on the occasion of our 45th wedding anniversary on Sunday, December 28. It seems like only yesterday! And like Joseph, she has saintly insight that inspires us all. I love you always and always, my dear!

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Lunch and Learn meets Mondays at 12:30 PM on Zoom and Facebook Live. We're off until January 5, 2026. On January 5, we'll return to Ein Ya'akov, at BT Yevamot 65b.

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Check out our wonderful community, and get lots of info about our various programs and becoming a Member at: https://bnaihayim.org/ 
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SAINTLY INSIGHT

"(Joseph said,) 'Now, do not be distressed or reproach yourselves because you sold me here; it was to save life that God sent me ahead of you.'" Gen. 45:5

"As he sent his brothers off on their way, he told them, 'Do not be quarrelsome on the way.'" Gen. 45:24

Immediately upon disclosing himself to his flabbergasted brothers, Joseph tells them not to worry - their selling him into Egyptian slavery was all part of God's plan to save the family of Jacob, and thus the Jewish people. Since God has been seemingly absent, or at least silent, from the Joseph cycle of stories, one must ask how Joseph knows that this is God's plan. Clearly, Joseph is a man of profound faith and saintliness. For all of those years in prison, there is nothing in the Torah to indicate that he plotted revenge against his brothers, complained about his situation or questioned God. The first opportunity he has to build himself up, in interpreting dreams, he says that interpretations come from God, not from himself. Now that he is regent over all Egypt , he makes it clear that not only is he not angry at his brothers, but that they have all been cogs in God's cosmic machine.

Joseph Recognized by His Brothers (Léon Pierre Urbain Bourgeois - 1863)

Such a high level of acceptance and forgiveness is something we should all strive for. But another, equally lofty goal is set for us in how he continues the conversation. "Do not reproach yourselves." "Do not be quarrelsome on the way." Joseph knows the ways of man, as well as the ways of God. He has the insight to realize that his brothers might now argue over who was responsible for selling Joseph into slavery, and causing years of grief for Jacob and guilt for themselves. Joseph tells them that they need not concern themselves with this sort of behavior. It is irrelevant in the face of the matter at hand - their survival as a family and our survival as a people.

Joseph teaches us three profound lessons in these two verses. One is that we have to trust and believe that our lives will work out - there are reasons for whatever our situation may be, even though we do not understand them at the time of events, even though we may never understand them – even though there may be no reasons at all. The second is that we ourselves have to do the physical, emotional, and spiritual work necessary to make things happen as we hope. The third is that finger pointing and recriminations serve no useful purpose - they prevent us from getting on with the business of living our lives to the best of our abilities.

Each of us has a Joseph within. But we have to believe it in order to make it real in our lives.

Shabbat Shalom.

Rabbi Richard A. Flom, DD (HC)

Rabbi Emeritus, Temple B'nai Hayim
הַלּוֹמֵד מִכָּל אָדָם ?אֵיזֶהוּ חָכָם
Who is wise? The one who learns from every person.
Ben Zoma - Pirkei Avot 4:1
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THE SECRET?

Kislev 23, 5786 / December 12-13, 2025

Parashat Vayeishev

Torah: Genesis 37:1 – 40:23

Haftarah: Amos 2:6 - 3:8

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Lunch and Learn meets Mondays at 12:30 PM on Zoom and Facebook Live. 

On December 15, we'll we'll continue learning about Hanukkah in the Talmud and Midrash.

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Check out our wonderful community, and get lots of info about our various programs and becoming a Member at: https://bnaihayim.org/ 
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THE SECRET?

"And Judah said to his brothers, "What advantage is there if we slay our brother and conceal his blood?" Genesis 37:26

A traditional understanding of this verse is that Judah sees an opportunity to get rid of Joseph and profit at the same time (while saving his life). That is why the brothers ultimately decide to sell Joseph into slavery. But Rebbe Menachem Mendel of Kotzk has a very different take on the verse.

The Kotzker focuses not on the profit motive, but on the idea of hiding the deed. He says, "If we are forced to conceal a matter and to keep it secret, that is a sign that it is wrong. Every secret is like a type of theft."

"Joseph Reveals His Dream to His Brethren" (James Tissot, c. 1896-1902)

In the Kotzker's view, Judah is saying there is no benefit whatsoever in eliminating Joseph, since it will be a guilty secret among the brothers forever. Indeed, we see later in the Torah that the brothers become wracked with guilt and recrimination when they are confronted by the vizier of Egypt (the disguised Joseph), who seems omniscient in his penetrating questions and demands of them.

My father, z’tz'l, whose name also was Menachem Mendel, taught me a very simple lesson on the issue. "Don't ever say or do anything that you would not want on the front page of the newspaper."

There's no such thing as a secret.

Shabbat Shalom! Chag Urim Sameach!

Rabbi Richard A. Flom, DD (HC)

Rabbi Emeritus, Temple B’nai Hayim

הַלּוֹמֵד מִכָּל אָדָם ?אֵיזֶהוּ חָכָם

Who is wise? The one who learns from every person.

Ben Zoma - Pirkei Avot 4:1

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NAME CHANGE

Parashat Vayishlach

Torah: Genesis 32:4 - 36:43

Haftarah: Obadiah 1:1-21 

Kislev 16, 5786 / December 5-6, 2025

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This d’var torah is offered in memory of my uncle, Daniel Flom, whose yahrzeit fell on Thursday, Kislev 14 (December 4). Y'hi zikhro liv'rakhah - may his memory be a blessing.

This d’var torah is offered in memory of my uncle, David Flom, whose yahrzeit falls this coming Thursday, Kislev 21 (December 11). Y'hi zikhro liv'rakhah - may his memory be a blessing.

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Lunch and Learn meets Mondays at 12:30 PM on Zoom and Facebook Live. 

On December 8, and for the following week, we'll be learning about Hanukkah in the Talmud and Midrash.

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Check out our wonderful community, and get lots of info about our various programs and becoming a Member at: https://bnaihayim.org/ 
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Please feel free to pass this on to a friend, and please cite the source.

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NAME CHANGE

'And he (the angel) said to him, "What is your name?" And he replied, "Jacob." And he (the angel) said, "No longer will it be said that your name is Jacob, but Israel; for you have striven with God and with man and have prevailed."' (Genesis 32:28-29)

When a person converts to Judaism, the final step is immersion in a mikvah. When the convert emerges, s/he is given a new name. It is a symbol of rebirth, by prevailing in a trial by water, if you will; or perhaps by symbolically emerging from the waters of the womb. The change of identity coincides with the change in status. But it occurs only after a lengthy period of study, practice and reflection, confronting the past and facing the future, a struggle with the self, with humans, and with the Divine.

Jacob Wrestling with the Angel (Gustave Doré - 1855)

How, then, was Jacob reborn? Other than the change of name, how did he become different? The answer, I think, lies not in the final struggle with the angel, a symbolic trial by combat, but rather in the vast change Jacob had undergone since he left his parents' house 22 years previously. He confronted himself, and no longer feared for his own safety, but for that of his wives and children. He faced down Laban and finally escaped from his clutches. He looked at God face to face, and asked for confirmation of the covenant with Abraham and Isaac. The wrestling match and the name change were the culmination of years of personal development, of discerning the ways of God and humanity.

Each of us is a Jacob. Each of us also has the potential to change, to grow, to become Israel, the one who wrestles with God and with humans and with the self. But we earn the change of name, the rebirth, only if we are prepared to engage in the necessary struggles to change ourselves and our world. It is not about resistance, but rather gaining knowledge and wisdom, acting in a purposeful way, and living a life of meaning.

Shabbat Shalom!

Rabbi Richard A. Flom, DD (HC)

Rabbi Emeritus, Temple B'nai Hayim

"שתיקה כהודאה דמיא"

Silence in the face of wrongdoing is consent.”

BT Yevamot 88a

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