YOUR FEELINGS ARE NOT NECESSARILY YOUR OWN!

Adar 27, 5786 / February 13-14, 2026

Parashat Mishpatim (Shabbat Shekalim)

Torah: Exodus 21:1 - 24:18

Maftir: Exodus 30:11-16 (Shabbat Shekalim)

Haftarah (Shabbat Shekalim): 2 Kings 12:1-17 (Ashkenazim); 2 Kings 11:17 – 12:17 (Sephardim)

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This d’var torah is offered in honor of my sister and brother-in-law, Lorrie Flom and Jay Goodman, on the occasion of their wedding anniversary this Shabbat, February 14. Happy Anniversary! Mazal tov!

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Lunch and Learn meets Mondays at 12:30 PM on Zoom and Facebook Live. On Monday, February 16, we'll continue our learning at BT Pesachim 103b6. You can find it online at:

https://www.sefaria.org/Pesachim.103b.6?lang=bi  

".... ,כי מטא לאבדולי" - "When it was time for havdalah, ..."

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Rabbi Van Leeuwen has a blog which you should read at:

https://rebjasonblog.wordpress.com

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Monday, February 16, is Presidents Day - don't forget to fly Old Glory!

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Please feel free to pass this on to a friend, and please cite the source

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YOUR FEELINGS ARE NOT NECESSARILY YOUR OWN!

"And you shall not mistreat a stranger (ger, which can also mean a foreigner or a convert), nor shall you oppress him, for you were strangers in the land of Egypt." Exodus 22:20

“You shall not oppress a stranger, for you know the heart of a stranger, for you were strangers in the land of Egypt.” Exodus 23:9

The Alter of Slabodka (Rabbi Nosson Tzvi Finkel, founder of the Slabodka Yeshiva (b. Lithuania 1849 – d. Jerusalem 1927), teaches the following on Exodus 23:9:

"Please do not explain this according to the simple meaning, that we are not permitted to oppress a stranger because we, too, had been strangers and had been oppressed, and thus know the taste of oppression. Rather, the reason is that a person is required to feel and participate in the joy and distress of his fellow, as if these had affected him personally. (my emphasis) "You shall love your neighbor as yourself" (Leviticus 19:18) - exactly as yourself. A person's relationship to others is not complete unless he feels their joys and sorrows with them, without any differentiation." (from Itturei Torah)

"Cities of Refuge" (Providence Lithograph Company, 1901)

It seems like nothing is ever simple with rabbis! For the Alter of Slabodka, merely not oppressing the Other is not enough! Yes, we Jews know oppression - but we need to have the greatest empathy for the Other, for the oppressed, in their joy, in their sorrow, and, I would suggest, in their day to day lives. This, he believes, is the only way to have a completely loving relationship with another. 

 

This is a tough, some might say impossible order to follow. But consider how this deep, deep sharing/experiencing of emotions with the Other will create within us and within them the Truth - that they are indeed "exactly as yourself". 

Shabbat Shalom!

 

Rabbi Richard A. Flom, DD (HC)

Rabbi Emeritus

Temple B'nai Hayim

!משנכנס אדר, מרבין בשמחה

With the beginning of Adar, we increase joy! (BT Ta'anit 29a)

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SAME AS IT EVER WAS

Parashat Yitro

Torah Reading: Exodus 18:1 - 20:23 (some chumashim use different verse numberings)

Haftarah Reading: Isaiah 6:1 - 7:6, 9:5-6 (Ashkenazim); Isaiah 6:1-13 (Sephardim)

Shevat 20, 5786 / February 6-7, 2026

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This d'var torah is offered in memory of my aunt, Shirley Schack, whose yahrzeit falls on Thursday, Shevat 25/February 12. Y'hi zekherah liv'rakhah - Her memory is a blessing.

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Lunch and Learn meets Mondays at 12:30 PM on Zoom and Facebook Live. On Monday, February 9, we'll continue our learning at BT Pesachim 102a. You can find it online at:

https://www.sefaria.org/Pesachim.102a.7?lang=bi 

"... תנו רבנן בני חבורה שהיו מסובין" - "The Sages taught: members of a group who were reclining ..."

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Rabbi Van Leeuwen has a blog which you should read at:

https://rebjasonblog.wordpress.com/2023/02/14/shavua-tov-black-moses/ 

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Please feel free to pass this on to a friend, and please cite the source

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SAME AS IT EVER WAS

"In the third month, when the Children of Israel had gone forth out of the land of Egypt, the same day they came to the wilderness of Sinai." Exodus 19:1

Rashi: "What is the meaning of 'the same day'? That the words of the Torah should be as fresh to you as if they had been given today."

We learn in the Zohar that when reciting Shirat Hayam (the Song at the Sea), which is read from the Torah on Parashat Beshalach (we read it last week) and on the seventh day of Passover, and in the siddur every morning, that we should rise and sing it with great joy, as if we ourselves were standing at the shore, witnessing the great miracle. Similarly, when Aseret Hadibrot (The Ten Statements [aka Commandments]) are read from the Torah, as we will be doing this Shabbat, we rise and listen with great intensity, as if standing at the foot of Mt. Sinai, hearing them for the very first time.

This is explained in Miginzeinu Ha'atik (“From Our Ancient Genizahs”, quoted in Itturei Torah). "You should not say that the Torah was given in the wilderness nearly 3,000 years ago, and it was only appropriate for that time and the conditions which existed then - 'The same day' - as if they had been given today - the laws of the Torah and our traditions are eternal, and they are relevant in every place and at every time."

This idea that they might be irrelevant is often applied to any number of Torah laws, such as kashruth, Shabbat, and tefillin. And yet, one never hears anyone say that "honor your father and mother" or "you shall not murder" have gone out of fashion. Not to mention loving and caring for the stranger, which appears at least 36 times in the Torah. (Although, to be honest, in some quarters, even those commandments seem to be regarded as optional.) Why is that?  The discussion often turns on notions of personal freedom, the needs of society, and the desire not to stand out - and sometimes, sheer cruelty.

I would suggest that the whole of Jewish law and tradition is a complete, unitary system, subject to debate and changes in circumstances (like the destruction of the Temple), but never irrelevancy. God gives the Torah to the Jews for a very specific reason - "You shall be to Me a kingdom of priests and a holy nation." (Exodus 19:6) We Jews are here, and we receive the Torah, specifically to minister to the world by acting in accordance with its teachings, and to sanctify ourselves and others through that ministry.

Stand up at Sinai! The Torah, which is your blueprint and your job description, is being given, and it hasn't changed!

Shabbat Shalom!

Rabbi Richard A. Flom, DD (HC)

Rabbi Emeritus

Temple B'nai Hayim

"שתיקה כהודאה דמיא"

"Silence in the face of wrongdoing is consent"

BT Yevamot 87b

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GOD PROVIDES, PROVIDED YOU PROVIDE

Shevat 13, 5786 / January 30-31, 2026

Parashat Beshallach

Torah: Exodus 13:17-17:16 (Shabbat Shirah)

Haftarah: Judges 4:4-5:31 (Ashkenazim); Judges 5:1-5:31 (Sephardim)

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Lunch and Learn meets Mondays at 12:30 PM on Zoom and Facebook Live. On February 2, which is also Tu B'shevat, we'll be at BT Pesachim 101a, as we continue preparing for Passover (yes, I know it's not for many weeks yet!)

"... אֲמַר לְהוּ רַב עָנָן בַּר תַּחְלִיפָא" - "Rav Anan bar Taḥalifa said to them ..."

On-line at: https://www.sefaria.org/Pesachim.101a.4?lang=bi 

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Check out our wonderful community, and get lots of info about our various programs and becoming a Member at: https://bnaihayim.org/ 
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GOD PROVIDES, PROVIDED YOU PROVIDE  

"The Lord will fight (y'lachem) for you, and you will hold your peace (tacharishun)." Exodus 14:14 

The commentary P'ninei Hatorah uses word play to understand this text. "God will arrange your food, your bread (lechem, punning on y'lachem), provided that 'you will hold your peace' – that you not quarrel among yourselves, because 'a single argument drives away one hundred livelihoods". 

Rebbe Meir of Premishlan goes one better. "It is true that God will provide bread - provided it is your obligation to work and to plow (l'charosh, punning on tacharishun)." (Both comments appear in Itturei Torah) 

Tu B'Shevat - the Seven Species of Eretz Yisrael - Wheat, Barley, Grapes, Figs, Pomegranates, Olives, and Dates

Our teachers have simple but important messages. First, God provides us with sustenance, a livelihood, a way to earn our bread - provided we don't destroy each other’s livelihoods through petty disputes. To me, this means even more - that which God creates, we have the power to destroy. Second, God helps those who help themselves (God also helps those who are unable to help themselves - through us as God's agents). God creates grain, but we must sow, work, harvest, grind and bake before it becomes bread. We are certainly able, if not obligated, to beautify and improve upon God's handiwork in order to make use of it - even as we are commanded not to destroy any of God's world - and that includes people, created in the image of God.

This coming Monday, February 2, we will observe Tu Bish'vat to remind us - we are the ones who have the power to improve the world - or to destroy it. 

Shabbat Shalom! Tu B'shevat Sameach!

Rabbi Richard A. Flom, DD (HC)

Rabbi Emeritus, Temple B'nai Hayim

"שתיקה כהודאה דמיא"

"Silence in the face of wrongdoing is consent.”

BT Yevamot 88a

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My weekly divrei torah are available through free subscription to the Cyber Torah e-mail list. No salesperson will call!

Cyber Torah list management:

To subscribe to Cyber Torah, send an e-mail from the receiving address to: ravflom@sbcglobal.net with the heading “Subscribe Cyber Torah”.

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CHOLESTEROL OF THE SOUL

Parashat Va’era

Tevet 28, 5786 / January 16-17, 2026

Torah Reading : Exodus 6:2 - 9:35

Haftarah: Ezekiel 28:25 - 29:21

Mevarkhim Hachodesh

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This d'var torah is offered in memory of my beloved mother, Annabelle Flom, whose yahrzeit falls this Thursday, Shevat 4 (January 22). We still hear the music. Y'hi zekherah liv'rakhah - Her memory is a blessing.

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Monday, January 19 is Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. Now more than ever we must remember his lessons and put them into action. Raise your flag, read or listen to Dr. King's "I Have a Dream" speech: 

https://www.npr.org/2010/01/18/122701268/i-have-a-dream-speech-in-its-entirety 

and then, take the sort of action that would make him proud. God knows we need it.

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Lunch and Learn meets Tuesdays at 12:30 PM on Zoom and Facebook Live. NOTE: NO LUNCH AND LEARN ON JANUARY 19. 

 
On January 26, we'll continue our learning about Passover at BT Pesachim 99b,  - "... עֶרֶב פְּסָחִים סָמוּךְ לַמִּנְחָה" - "On the eve of Passover, adjacent to mincha time ...

The link to our reading is at: 

https://www.sefaria.org/Pesachim.99b?lang=bi 

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Please feel free to pass this on to a friend, and please cite the source.

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CHOLESTEROL OF THE SOUL

 

“And I will harden Pharaoh’s heart, ...” Exodus 7:3

 

The notion that God hardened Pharaoh’s heart raises great difficulty. What does this say about free will? Rabbi Yochanan asks, “Doesn’t this provide heretics with ground for arguing that he had no means of repenting?” If God caused Pharaoh to refuse to let the Israelites go, if he foreclosed Pharaoh from repentance, if everything is preordained, then how can anyone be held accountable for their actions? To paraphrase Abraham, how can God, the judge of all the world, then claim to be acting justly?

"Moses Speaks to Pharaoh" - James Tissot, ca 1896-1902

For the first five plagues, “Pharaoh’s heart hardened” - he chose to act as he did. But for the last five plagues, “God hardened Pharaoh’s heart”. In the Midrash, Resh Lakish (Rabbi Shimon ben Lakish) says, “Let the mouths of the heretics be stopped up. ‘If to scorners, He will scorn.’ (Proverbs 3:34) When God warns a man once, twice, even three times, and still he does not repent, then God closes his heart against repentance so that He should exact vengeance from him for his sins.” Still, why does God harden Pharaoh’s heart at all? Or does God really do that?

 

Interestingly, in the Talmud, Resh Lakish gives a different and more satisfying answer. He says, “What is the meaning of ‘If to scorners, he will scorn; and to the meek he gives favor’? If he tries to defile himself, he is given an opening; if he tries to purify himself, he is helped.” Note the lower case here. Not God, but man. If we turn to scorners, we will scorn. If we turn to the meek, we give ourselves favor. 

We always have the choice to open our hearts and souls or harden them to the cries of others. If we choose evil, God passively leaves openings, which we can choose to enter - or not. If we choose time and again to harden our souls, it becomes more and more difficult for us to change our ways. But the difficult is not impossible. Because, says Resh Lakish, if we choose goodness, God affirmatively helps us. 

 

Unclog the arteries of your soul, and heed the cries of those in need.

 

Shabbat Shalom v'Chodesh Tov.

Rabbi Richard A. Flom, DD (HC)

Rabbi Emeritus
Temple B'nai Hayim
"שתיקה כהודאה דמיא"
"Silence in the face of wrongdoing is consent.”
BT Yevamot 87b
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GOD HAPPENS!

Parashat Sh’mot

Torah: Exodus 1:1 - 6:1

Haftarah: Isaiah 27:6 - 28:13; 29:22-23 (Ashkenazim); Jeremiah 1:1 - 2:3 (Sephardim)

Tevet 21, 5786 / January 9-10, 2026

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Lunch and Learn meets Mondays at 12:30 PM on Zoom and Facebook Live. On January 12, we'll be at BT Pesachim 2a, as we begin preparing for Passover (yes, I know it's not for 12 weeks yet!)

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Check out our wonderful community, and get lots of info about our various programs and becoming a Member at: https://bnaihayim.org/ 
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GOD HAPPENS!

"... You shall go with the elders of Israel to the king of Egypt and say to him, 'The Lord, the God of the Hebrews, happened upon us. And now, please let us go on a three-day journey in the desert and we shall sacrifice to the Lord, our God.'" Exodus 3:18

A traditional take (Rashi and Sforno) on this verse is that the Israelites are telling Pharaoh that this was not something that they had asked for or intended - after all, Pharaoh hates them enough as it is! Sforno adds that the Israelites are saying, "It's His will, He commanded us, what can we do?" And yet, one has to wonder - perhaps the Israelites did cause God to "happen" upon them.

At the end of chapter 2 of Exodus, the Israelites groaned because of their slavery and cried out. Their cries reached God, Who "remembered" the covenant with Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. They turned to God and their outcry caused God to respond. One might say, then, that one can bring God into the world, cause God to "happen", by praying, or by crying out, or by searching for God.

Moses at the Burning Bush (Domenico Fetti, ca. 16-1615-1617)

On the other hand, perhaps Moses made God happen through his own actions. Moses acted righteously on several occasions before God chose him to save the Israelites - he struck down the Egyptian who was beating an Israelite, he saved Tzipporah and her sisters from the shepherds at the well, and he stopped to consider the burning bush. He was not seeking God, but he caused God to happen by acting justly, by defending the downtrodden, and by acknowledging a miracle.

We can cry out to God, we can pray to God, we can search for God, we can act in a Godly way - God comes into our lives, God happens, if we make God happen.

Shabbat Shalom!

Rabbi Richard A. Flom, DD (HC)

Rabbi Emeritus, Temple B'nai Hayim

"שתיקה כהודאה דמיא"

"Silence in the face of wrongdoing is consent.”

BT Yevamot 88a

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My weekly divrei torah are available through free subscription to the Cyber Torah e-mail list. No salesman will call!

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To subscribe to Cyber Torah, send an e-mail from the receiving address to: ravflom@sbcglobal.net with the heading “Subscribe Cyber Torah”.

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To dedicate a Cyber Torah in honor of a simchah, in memory of a loved one, or for a refuah shleimah, send an e-mail to: ravflom@sbcglobal.net with the heading “Dedicate Cyber Torah” and provide details in the message body.