We’re All In This Together

Parashat Yitro
Torah: Exodus 18:1 - 20:23
Haftarah: Isaiah 6:1 - 7:6; 9:5-6 (Ashkenazim); Isaiah 6:1-13 (Sephardim)

22 Shevat 5773 / 1-2 February 2013

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Yitro said to Moses (his son-in-law): “The thing you are doing is not right. You will surely wear yourself out, and these people as well. For the task is too heavy for you; you cannot do it alone. Now listen to me, and God be with you! You represent the people before God; you bring the disputes before God, and enjoin upon them the laws and the teachings, and make known to them the way they are to go and the practices they are to follow. You shall also seek out capable people who fear God, trustworthy people who spurn ill-gotten gain. Set these over them as chiefs of thousands, hundreds, fifties and tens, and let them judge people at all times…. Let them share the burden with you. If you do this – and God so commands you – you will be able to bear up; and all these people too will go home unwearied.” Exodus 18:17-23

In a way, this sounds like the establishment of an army. But it also looks like a model for setting up a synagogue – a rabbi, a board of directors and committees. The difference is that, usually, but not always, the rabbi does not choose the board of directors – the congregation does. And unlike Moses, the rabbi is not sent by God – the congregation, directly or through the board, chooses the rabbi.

Yitro sees a necessary separation of management and spiritual leadership. My colleague and friend Rabbi David Greenspoon says that the difference between leadership and management is that leadership is doing the right thing, and management is doing the thing right. Sometimes leadership, doing the right thing, requires going out on a limb. Management, he says, is the antithesis of going out on a limb. Doing the thing right requires management to be sure that processes and outcomes have consensus. It’s often about risk avoidance and shared responsibility. The modern synagogue is a bit more complicated – rabbis must be managers, and managers must be leaders. And always, everyone should share the burden!

Yet, the Israelites have problems. When the system breaks down, bad things happen. Sometimes Moses fails to lead, sometimes the managers go beyond their authority. When Aaron’s sons, the “managers” Nadav and Abihu, try to usurp Moses and Aaron, God punishes them – they are struck down. When Moses fails to rebuke the Israelites while the Moabite women are enticing them, the result is a civil war and a plague among the Israelites. But ultimately, they all manage to get through the desert together, because they take care of each other. They fight for each other, not with each other.

Leaders, managers, followers, workers – we all must join in the Jewish enterprise together, as a unified people – even when we disagree. This is how it is explained by Pirkei Avot. “Kol Yisrael arevim zeh lazeh” – All Israel are responsible one for the other. We either build each other up, or we tear each other down. 

I wish you Shabbat Shalom Uv’rakhah – A Shabbat of Peace and Blessing.

Rabbi Richard A. Flom - ZSRS '00

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"For the sake of Zion I will not be silent; for the sake of Jerusalem I will not be still." Isaiah 62:1
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Addendum

There is another way in which the system can break down. Public criticism, especially non-constructive criticism of leaders, managers, followers and workers, leads to embarrassment and animosity. Angry words are exchanged. Feelings are hurt, with no positive purpose. Positions harden. Threats are made.

The Torah tells us we should indeed rebuke others. Leviticus 19:17. But halakhah tells us we are prohibited from doing so in public. “A person who rebukes his fellow – whether because of a wrong committed against him or because of a matter between his fellow and God – should rebuke him privately. He should speak to him patiently and gently.” Maimonides (Rambam), Mishneh Torah, Hilkhot De’ot – The Laws of Character, Chapter 6, Halakhah 7.

The Torah tells us that God can create or destroy with words. So can we. We need to turn down the angry rhetoric in our lives – in the synagogue, in the public square, in our homes and in our workplaces. Say what it is that you want. Do not criticize others who want something else. Criticize the idea, not the person espousing it. And whatever you want to say, take Rambam’s advice. Or, as my father, alav hashalom, said often, “If you have nothing nice to say – say nothing.”

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This Shabbat, Rabbi Flom will be conducting morning services at Mishkon Tephilo, 206 Main Street, Venice 90291. Service begins at 9:30 am. Kiddush lunch and Torah study follow. 

Lunch and Learn is an ongoing program of Beit Midrash Shalom that meets most Tuesdays to discuss Jewish texts and other topics of Jewish interest. It is open to all regardless of affiliation. Next meeting is Tuesday, February 5, 12:00 noon, at Congregation Beth Meier, 11725 Moorpark St., Studio City 91604. PLEASE DO NOT BRING ANY FOOD UNLESS IT IS IN ITS ORIGINAL SEALED CONTAINER AND BEARING A HEKHSHER AS DAIRY OR PAREVE. Lunch will be provided by Congregation Beth Meier. Donations gratefully accepted.

Beit Midrash Shalom also meets the first Tuesday of each month at Congregation Beth Meier for text study led by Rabbi Aaron Benson and Rabbi Flom. Next meeting is February 5 at 8:00 pm. Donations gratefully accepted. 

This d'var torah is offered for a refuah shleimah for Connie Axelson, Deb Berenbach, Selby Horowitz, Pamela Huddleston, Micah Kosche, Sara Lanxner, Emily Levin, Frank Markowitz, Helen Reiter, Len Reiter, Rachel Robbins, Judith Sakurai, Kitty Schmerling and Helen Tomsky.

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