Cheshbon Hanefesh Worksheet
A Personal Inventory for the High Holy Days – 5780 edition
Traditionally, cheshbon hanefesh, literally an accounting of the soul, is undertaken during the Aseret Yamei Teshuvah – the Ten Days of Repentance from Rosh Hashanah through Yom Kippur. The entire month of Elul is even better, but in truth, any time is a good time.
With openness and honesty, giving the benefit of the doubt to yourself without being extravagant, being self-critical without beating yourself up, evaluate the following on an appropriate scale of your choosing. There is no yardstick. Every person is a work in progress – no exceptions!
Keep notes in a diary and add to them all year. These questions/reflections require much more than a mere score. Please feel free to add any topics you wish to evaluate. Consider both quality and quantity. Don’t forget to answer the most important questions of all: How have I improved since last year? In what areas do I need to improve? What are my goals in those areas? What will I do to reach them? Of course, there is no right answer to any of this ….. is there?
The People in My Life
How are my relationships with parents, children, spouses/life partners, other family, friends, neighbors, strangers, employers, employees, customers, teachers, et al.?
Who did I injure? Who injured me? How? Why? Does blame matter?
What did I do to make amends? Was it enough?
What did/can/will I do to assure it doesn’t happen again?
Did I apologize?
Did I ask for forgiveness? Was I forgiven? How do I feel about that? Was I not forgiven? How do I feel about that?
Did I forgive those who asked for forgiveness? How do I feel about them?
Is our relationship the same – better – worse? Reconciliation?
What did I do to heal the people in my life?
Did I help others reconcile with each other? Am I a rodef shalom?
Are there patterns, habits, addictions in my life I need to change? Are there good patterns and habits in my life that I should utilize even more?
Do I really hear and understand other people – their needs, hopes and dreams? How can/do I encourage them? Do I encourage them?
Do I accept others for who they are, even if they aren’t what I want them to be? Do I have the right to want them to be other than who they are?
Lashon Hara/Rechilut – Slander, gossip, offensive speech
Did I speak/write it?
Did I read/listen to it?
Did I prevent others from spreading it?
God in My Life
Is God in my life?
Do I ever contemplate the Divine?
Do I ever contemplate holiness? Can I be holy? Do I see the holiness in other people?
Do I engage in regular prayer and/or meditation?
Tefillin
Daily prayer service/private worship
Bedtime Sh’ma (teach your children well)
Blessings for Mitzvot
Blessings for food/drink
Can I really imitate God?
Did I do teshuvah?
Did I forgive God for what happened to me? Can God cause anything to happen to me?
Do I have a personal theology?
Do I have a personal theology?
Jewish Ritual/Jewish Observance
Kashruth
Biblical
Halakhic
Home
Out
Vegetarian
Vegan
How are my Shabbat and Holy Days (general)?
Know the stories/reasons
Candles
Kiddush
Family Blessings
Zemirot – table songs
Guests
Refraining from Work
Attending Services
Torah Study
Reflection
Havdalah
Fulfilling/meaningful/involved/indifferent
How are my holy days? Do I observe them in some fashion? Do I know what the tradition says? How do I find meaning?
Specific holy days
Specific holy days
Rosh Hashanah
Tashlikh
Shofar
Yom Kippur
Fasting
Contemplation
Teshuvah
Sukkot
Built/ate/studied/slept in a Sukkah
Ushpizin – honored visitors
Lulav and Etrog
Shemini Atzeret
Simchat Torah
Chanukah
Chanukiyah/menorah
Chanukiyah/menorah
Tu BiShevat
Purim
Megillah Reading
Shlach Manot
Tzedakah
Pesach
Bedikat Chametz
Seder
No chametz during holiday
Yom Hashoah
Yom Ha’atzma’ut
Shavuot
Tisha B’Av
Yizkor – Do I remember them?
Mitzvot – Mitzvah means commandment – or is it a good deed?
Have I taken on more mitzvot?
Have I improved my observance of mitzvot I was already doing?
Have I ceased mitzvot I was already doing?
How?
Why?
Do I find fulfillment in their observance? Am I supposed to?
Do I find fulfillment in their observance? Am I supposed to?
Judaism - Do I preach it, teach it, live it?
Study
Do I engage in regular Torah study?
Do I read Jewish books and/or periodicals?
What do I know about Judaism generally?
History
Holy Days
Texts – Tanakh, Talmud, Midrash, etc.
Culture
Zionism
Personalities
Beliefs/tenets/philosophy
Practices
Halakhah
Hebrew language
Israel
The State of Israel
The government of the State of Israel
The people of the State of Israel
The People of Israel (am yisrael) - yes, they are two different things
The Land of Israel
Travel – ever; recently; soon
Support (whatever that means, in whichever way one sees fit)
How? When? Where? Should these matter?
Israel Bonds
JNF
Israeli products
Rallies
Letter writing
AIPAC
J Street
Peace Now
New Israel Fund
What do I think about the settlements?
What do I think about the Occupation?
What do I think about peace with the Palestinians?
What do I think about the rabbanut?
Criticize (whatever that means, in whichever way one sees fit)
How? When? Where? Should these matter?
Zionism - political - types
Zionism - religious - types
Tzedakah/Gemilut Chasadim/Volunteerism
Do I view others as B'tzelem Elohim - in the image of God?
"Tzedek, tzedek tirdof" - Justice, justice you shall pursue
Feed the hungry
Clothe the naked
Defend/care for the stranger in our midst
Hear the cries of others
Charitable donations
How much tzedakah? (according to Torah and halakhah, tithing [10%] expected)
Donations of Time/Volunteer work
Congregation
Other organizations
Donations of Self/gemilut chasadim - acts of lovingkindness
Bikur cholim - visiting/care for the sick
Comforting mourners
Comforting the afflicted
Jewish Community
How active in congregation?
Affiliates
Religious school/teaching
How active in other Jewish groups?
Reaching out to other Jews
Captive Jews
What about everybody else?
What about everybody else?
My Body, My Self
Exercise
Diet
Self-abuse (drugs, alcohol, tobacco)
Self-control
Care of the body
Care of the soul
Care of the mind
What did I do to heal myself?
Take reasonable advantage of the pleasing things in this world – art, music, good food and drink, travel, etc.
The Physical World Around Me
The environment – b’al tashchit – do not destroy; cleanup; conservation; global warming
Kindness to animals
Stop and smell the roses/meditate on the wonder of Creation?
Tikkun olam?
A Few Final Thoughts for Your Consideration
Do I deserve another year because I have been good?
Do I deserve another year because I will be better? I promise!
Am I prepared to do teshuvah, tefillah and tzedakah?
© Rabbi Richard Flom - 2019
