Tuesday, November 12, 2024

PUTTING GOD SECOND

Parashat Vayera
Cheshvan 15, 5783 / November 15-16, 2024
Torah: Genesis 18:1-22:24
Haftarah: Kings II 4:1-37 (Ashkenazic); Kings II 4:1-23 (Sephardim)
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This d’var torah is offered for a refuah shleimah and a speedy and safe return of all the hostages being held by Hamas.

This d’var torah is offered for a refuah shleimah for all who have been wounded in the terrorist attacks and in fighting against the terrorists, as well as innocent non-combatants caught in the crossfire.
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Lunch and Learn meets Mondays at 12:30 PM on Zoom and Facebook Live. On November 18, we'll be at BT Chagigah 13a, page 19 of Ein Ya'akov (Glick edition) Volume 3:
  "ולא במרכבה ביחיד"  -   "'Nor the divine chariot with one."'

NOTE: NO Lunch and Learn on November 25 or December 2. We'll resume on December 9.

Volume 3 of Ein Ya'akov is now available and downloadable on Google drive at:
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Check out our wonderful community, and get lots of info about our various programs and becoming a Member at: https://bnaihayim.org/ 
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PUTTING GOD SECOND
 
"And the Lord appeared to (Abraham) at the terebinths (trees used to make turpentine) of Mamre while he was sitting at the entrance of the tent in the heat of the day. He lifted his eyes and saw there were three men standing above him; he ran from the entrance of the tent to greet them, and bowed toward the ground. And he said, 'My Lord, if I find favor in Your eyes, please do not pass away from Your servant.'" Genesis 18:1-3.
 
At first reading, one would think that God appeared to Abraham in the form of the three men. Therefore, he bowed and addressed them as "My Lord". However, Rabbinic tradition teaches that these are two separate events. God was visiting Abraham following Abraham's circumcision, and then the three men appeared. Abraham (in his pain!) literally ran from God to greet the men. He then asked God to wait while he attended to the needs of the men!
 
This might seem extraordinarily disrespectful to God. Not so, according to the Rabbis. "Rabbi Judah said in the name of Rav: 'Hospitality to guests is greater than greeting the Divine Presence.'" How can this be? For one thing, if God is the Omnipresent, one can never leave God's Presence. Second, if God is the Eternal, then "waiting" is not in God's vocabulary - it's simply not a problem. Perhaps most important, God does not have physical needs, but human beings do; and they must be attended to. In taking leave of God in order to extend hospitality to three strangers who appeared out of the desert, Abraham was actually honoring God - by caring for those who are created "in the image of God".
 
This implies that if one must choose between fulfilling a “mitzvah bein adam lamakom” (a mitzvah between a person and God) or a “mitzvah bein adam l’chavero” (between one person and another person), we should attend to the mitzvah involving another person first. (See, for example, the Mishnah at Peah 1:1: “These are the things for which a person reaps the fruits in this world, and gets a reward in the world to come: honoring one's father and mother, acts of lovingkindness [gemilut chasadim], and bringing peace between people.”) When we treat others to our hospitality (or feed them or clothe them or house them or provide them with medical treatment), we do indeed find favor in God's eyes. "For it is lovingkindness I desire, not sacrifices." Hosea 6:6

There remains perhaps the greatest mitzvah of all, one that does not require choosing between God and human beings. We do it after we are dead – by registering as organ donors while we are alive. Indeed, virtually all rabbis agree that organ donation at death is a positive mitzvah - an obligation of pikuach nefesh - saving a life. This idea represents everything that Judaism stands for.


 

This weekend is National Donor Sabbath, a joint project of the US Department of Health and Human Services and Donate Life America. More information is available at these web sites:
 
https://www.organdonor.gov/awareness/events/donor-sabbath.html  

https://www.donatelife.net/ 

In 2020, over 39,000 organ donations were performed in the US. This is impressive, until one realizes that there are over 113,000 Americans on the waiting lists for various organs. Every day, 80 transplants are performed in the US, while 20 people die waiting for organs they need to survive. You can alleviate the pain and suffering of others, literally give them life, merely by completing an organ donation card available from your motor vehicle department or at the web site above.
 
Does it work? Of course! Most of our parts are “recyclable”. And don’t forget, there are ways to save lives while we are still alive – through blood, platelet and bone marrow donations, and as living organ donations. Go ahead – perform an act of chesed or pikuach nefesh – God won’t be offended!
 
L’chaim!
 
Shabbat Shalom Uv'rakhah! A Shabbat of Peace and Blessing!
 
Rabbi Richard A. Flom
Rabbi Emeritus
Temple B’nai Hayim
הַלּוֹמֵד מִכָּל אָדָם ?אֵיזֶהוּ חָכָם
Who is wise? The one who learns from every person.
Ben Zoma - Pirkei Avot 4:1
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Cyber Torah list management (no salesman will call!):
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Tuesday, November 5, 2024

WHAT’S IN A NAME?

Parashat Lekh L'kha
Cheshvan 8, 5785 / November 9, 2024
Torah: Genesis 12:1 - 17:27
Haftarah: Isaiah 40:27 - 41:16
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This d'var torah is offered in memory of my uncle, Merwin Erenbaum, whose yahrzeit falls on Saturday, November 9, corresponding to 8 Cheshvan. Y'hi zikhro liv'rakhah - May his memory be a blessing.

This d'var torah is offered in memory of my zayde, Sam Flom, whose yahrzeit falls on Sunday, November 10, corresponding to 9 Cheshvan. Y'hi zikhro liv'rakhah - May his memory be a blessing.

This d’var torah is offered for a refuah shleimah and a speedy and safe return of all the hostages being held by Hamas.

This d’var torah is offered for a refuah shleimah for all who have been wounded in the terrorist attacks and in fighting against the terrorists, as well as innocent non-combatants caught in the crossfire.

This d'var torah is offered in memory of the first Jews to die in the Shoah, the victims of Kristallnacht, November 9-10, 1938.

This d'var Torah is offered in honor of my family members:
Jacob Slome - US Army - WW1
David Flom, MD - US Army - WW2
Merton Flom, OD, PhD - US Navy - WW2
Abraham Kronzek - US Navy - WW2
Leo Kronzek - US Army - WW2
Joseph Kronzek - US Army - WW2
Ira Erenrich - US Army - WW2
Martin Flom - US Air Force - Korean War
Hans Schack - US Army - 1950s
Merwin Erenbaum - US Army - 1950s
and every veteran who honorably served in the armed forces of the United States of America. Don’t forget to fly Old Glory on Monday, 11/11.
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Lunch and Learn meets Mondays at 12:30 PM on Zoom and Facebook Live. On November 11, we'll be at BT Chagigah 12b, page 17 of Ein Ya'akov (Glick edition) Volume 3:
  '... א"ר לוי כל הפוסק מדברי תורה'
"R. Levi said: "Whoever interrupts his study of the Torah ..."'

Volume 3 of Ein Ya'akov is now available and downloadable on Google drive at:
----------------------------------------------------------
Check out our wonderful community, and get lots of info about our various programs and becoming a Member at: https://bnaihayim.org/ 
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Please feel free to pass this on to a friend, and please cite the source.
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WHAT’S IN A NAME?

"When Avram was 99 years old, the Lord (Y-H-W-H) appeared to Avram and said to him, 'I am God Almighty (El Shaddai). Walk before Me and be blameless.'" Genesis 17:1

In "Guide for the Perplexed", Rambam (Maimonides) writes that, contrary to what we might think, God has only one name - the Tetragrammaton which we do not pronounce but read instead as "Adonai" - Lord. Such "names" as Dayan (judge), Shaddai (almighty), Tzaddik (righteous), Chanun (gracious), Rachum (merciful), and Elohim (chief) are descriptive of God's actions, rather than actual names. It is dangerous, Rambam tells us, to think of these as names, for that leads to error. On the other hand, claiming that these are "attributes" may create the belief that there is a plurality within God, or worse, that there is more than one God. God cannot be subdivided in this way, according to Rambam, for God has no limits. Any attempt to describe God must fail because human language, and of course human beings, have limits.


Abram's Journey from Ur to Canaan (József Molnár, 1850)

To be clear, this discussion does not apply to the names of human beings. Consider Avram, whose name means "exalted father". God tells him, "You shall no longer be called Avram, but your name shall be Avraham, for I make you the father of many nations." (Gen. 17:5) Indeed, in the Torah, names bestowed by God are destiny. But for those of us less fortunate than Avraham (or Sarai, whose name becomes Sarah, or Ya'akov, who becomes Yisrael), we create our destiny through our own actions. How we live determines how we are called, even after we die.

Rabbi Shimon taught: "There are three crowns - the crown of Torah (i.e., being a teacher, though one may be unworthy), the crown of priesthood and the crown of kingship (both of which are hereditary). But the crown of a good name excels them all." Avot 4:17

For good or ill, we make names for ourselves, and it is by those names that we are known.

Shabbat Shalom!

Rabbi Richard A. Flom
Rabbi Emeritus
Temple B'nai Hayim
"שתיקה כהודאה דמיא"
"Silence in the face of wrongdoing is consent.”
BT Yevamot 88a
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Cyber Torah list management (no salesman will call!):
To subscribe to Cyber Torah, send an e-mail with the subject heading “Subscribe Cyber Torah” to: ravflom@sbcglobal.net 
Send requests for dedications of Cyber Torah in honor of a simchah, in memory of a loved one or for a refuah shleimah to: ravflom@sbcglobal.net 
To unsubscribe from Cyber Torah, send an e-mail with the subject heading “Unsubscribe Cyber Torah” to: ravflom@sbcglobal.net 

Tuesday, October 29, 2024

THE NOT-SO-RIGHTEOUS TZADDIK

Parashat Noach
Cheshvan 1, 5785 / November 2, 2024
Torah: Genesis 6:9-11:32
Maftir (Shabbat Rosh Chodesh): Numbers 28:9-15
Haftarah (Shabbat Rosh Chodesh): Isaiah 66:1-24
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This d’var torah is offered for a refuah shleimah and a speedy and safe return of all the hostages being held by Hamas.

This d’var torah is offered for a refuah shleimah for all who have been wounded in the terrorist attacks and in fighting against the terrorists, as well as innocent non-combatants caught in the crossfire.
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Lunch and Learn meets Mondays at 12:30 PM on Zoom and Facebook Live. On November 4, we'll be at BT Chagigah 12a, page 14 of Ein Ya'akov (Glick edition) Volume 3:
  "... ת"ר ב"ש אומרים שמים נבראו תחלה"
'Our Rabbis were taught: The School of Shammai say: "The Heavens were created first ..."'

Volume 3 of Ein Ya'akov is now available and downloadable on Google drive at:
----------------------------------------------------------
Check out our wonderful community, and get lots of info about our various programs and becoming a Member at: https://bnaihayim.org/ 
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Please feel free to pass this on to a friend, and please cite the source.
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THE NOT-SO-RIGHTEOUS TZADDIK

"Noah was a righteous man (tzaddik), wholehearted in his generations" (Gen. 6:9)
"For it is you that I have seen to be righteous before Me in this generation." (Gen. 7:1)

There was great disagreement among the Rabbis and many commentators about just how righteous Noah really was. Was he righteous only in comparison to all of the evil people around him, so that in better times he would not have been noteworthy? Or is he truly impressive, being so righteous that he was able to withstand the great evil around him, so that in better times he would have been even more outstanding?

The great weight of rabbinic opinion is that Noah was not so hot, not much of a tzaddik, just the best of a bad lot. The proof of this theory, according to the Zohar, is through comparison to Abraham, who is also described in the Torah as righteous and wholehearted.

When God tells Noah He intends to destroy the world, Noah holds his peace and says nothing. When God tells Abraham that He intends to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah, Abraham approaches God and asks, "Will you also destroy the righteous with the wicked?"


"The Building of Noah's Ark", by Aureliano Milani 
(is he trying to get them to become righteous - or is he telling them to hurry up with the construction? RAF)

In other words, Noah was only looking out for himself. Rabbi Aharon Shmuel Tameret picks up on this, and says that in fact, Noah and his family were punished (!) by being exiled in the ark. Although they were protected from the flood, their isolation in the ark, which they were unable to steer, was a form of punishment. In this view, they were doing penance for the sin of indifference and cold-heartedness.

It has been said that evil flourishes when good people turn away and are silent. Had Noah been more righteous, perhaps he would have saved other people, or even prevented the Flood by convincing others to be righteous. Just as we are able to choose between good and evil, we can also choose the way in which we will be good. We can mind our own business, keep our noses clean, and try to save ourselves. Or we can confront injustice directly, and relieve the suffering of others, and perhaps save the world. How will we be remembered?

Shabbat Shalom!

Rabbi Richard A. Flom
Rabbi Emeritus
Temple B'nai Hayim
"שתיקה כהודאה דמיא"
"Silence in the face of wrongdoing is consent.”
BT Yevamot 88a
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Cyber Torah list management (no salesman will call!):
To subscribe to Cyber Torah, send an e-mail with the subject heading “Subscribe Cyber Torah” to: ravflom@sbcglobal.net
Send requests for dedications of Cyber Torah in honor of a simchah, in memory of a loved one or for a refuah shleimah to: ravflom@sbcglobal.net
To unsubscribe from Cyber Torah, send an e-mail with the subject heading “Unsubscribe Cyber Torah” to: ravflom@sbcglobal.net 

Tuesday, September 17, 2024

GAVE TITHES YET?

Parashat Ki Tavo
Torah: Deuteronomy 26:1 - 29:8
Haftarah: Isaiah 60:1-22 (6th haftarah of consolation)
Elul 18, 5784 / September 20-21, 2024
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My Cheshbon Hanefesh Worksheet - 5785 Edition, is now available at my blog:
I hope you find it useful.
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This d’var torah is offered for a refuah shleimah and a speedy and safe return of all the hostages being held by Hamas.

This d’var torah is offered for a refuah shleimah for all who have been wounded in the terrorist attacks and in fighting against the terrorists, as well as innocent non-combatants caught in the crossfire.
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Lunch and Learn meets Mondays at 12:30 PM on Zoom and Facebook Live. On September 23, we'll be at BT Chagigah 9b, page 10 of Ein Ya'akov (Glick edition) Volume 3:
  "... תניא מעוות לא יוכל לתקן ..."
"We are taught in a Baraitha: That which is crooked cannot be made straight ..."

Volume 3 of Ein Ya'akov is now available and downloadable on Google drive at:
----------------------------------------------------------
Check out our wonderful community, and get lots of info about our various programs and becoming a Member at: https://bnaihayim.org/ 
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Please feel free to pass this on to a friend, and please cite the source.
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GAVE TITHES YET?

"When you have set aside the full tenth part of your crop - in the third year, the year of the tithe - and you have given it to the Levite, the stranger, the orphan and the widow, that they may eat their fill in your settlements, you shall say before the Lord your God: 'I have cleared out the holy portion from the house ...; I have not transgressed Your commandment and I did not forget.'" Deuteronomy 26:12-13


"Boy with a Basket of Fruit" - Caravaggio, 1593

With the destruction of the Temple, the end of the sacrifices, and the Kohanim and Levites therefore no longer entitled to tithes, one might think that the practice of tithing had ended. But this tithe, the one for the poor and propertyless, remains as the obligation of tzedakah. In truth, it has replaced all of the other tithes, so that one is obligated to give every year, not just one year out of seven - and not just from crops, but from earnings.

As the above declaration indicates, the tithe is holy. But note that, unlike virtually any other mitzvah, there is no blessing or statement of intent before performing the act - there is only an affirmation afterward.

One reason for this may be that the tithe has to be separated out first - if I say a blessing and then begin measuring out the tithe, I might be distracted and never fulfill the mitzvah, or I might decide that I can't or won't give the full amount. Then the blessing would have been said in vain, making me a liar.

A second, and perhaps more compelling reason, is that when people are in need, when they are hungry - they shouldn't be made to wait while we tell God that we are going to help them. Actions speak louder than words.

With this year coming to a close, now is the time to dole out the full measure of tzedakah, so that our prayers for a good new year will have merit behind them.

Shabbat Shalom!

Rabbi Richard A. Flom
Rabbi Emeritus
Temple B’nai Hayim/Congregation Beth Meier
"From the place where we are absolutely right, flowers will never grow in the spring."
"מן המקום שבו אנו צודקים לא יצמחו לעולם פרחים באביב"
Yehuda Amichai
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Cyber Torah list management (no salesman will call!):
To subscribe to Cyber Torah, send an e-mail with the subject heading “Subscribe Cyber Torah” to: ravflom@sbcglobal.net 
Send requests for dedications of Cyber Torah in honor of a simchah, in memory of a loved one or for a refuah shleimah to: ravflom@sbcglobal.net 
To unsubscribe from Cyber Torah, send an e-mail with the subject heading “Unsubscribe Cyber Torah” to: ravflom@sbcglobal.net 

Tuesday, September 10, 2024

Memories ...

Parashat Ki Tetze
Elul 11, 5784 / September 13-14, 2024
Torah: Deuteronomy 21:10 – 25:19
Haftarah: Isaiah 54:1-10; (Fifth Haftarah of Consolation)
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My Cheshbon Hanefesh Worksheet - 5785 Edition, is now available at my blog:
I hope you find it useful.
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This d'var torah is offered in memory of Lynn's sister, Janis Devorah Kronzek, died far too young, whose 23rd yahrzeit was Tuesday, Elul 7. Y'hi zikhronah liv'rakhah - may her memory be a blessing.

This d’var torah is offered for a refuah shleimah and a speedy and safe return of all the hostages being held by Hamas.

This d’var torah is offered for a refuah shleimah for all who have been wounded in the terrorist attacks and in fighting against the terrorists, as well as innocent non-combatants caught in the crossfire.
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Lunch and Learn meets Mondays at 12:30 PM on Zoom and Facebook Live. On September 16, we'll be at BT Chagigah 9b, page 10 of Ein Ya'akov (Glick edition) Volume 3:
  "... תניא מעוות לא יוכל לתקן ..."
"We are taught in a Baraitha: That which is crooked cannot be made straight ..."

Volume 3 of Ein Ya'akov is now available and downloadable on Google drive at:
----------------------------------------------------------
Check out our wonderful community, and get lots of info about our various programs and becoming a Member at: https://bnaihayim.org/ 
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Please feel free to pass this on to a friend, and please cite the source.
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Memories ...

"Remember what Amalek did to you, on the way when you were leaving Egypt… you shall blot out the memory of Amalek from under heaven - don't forget!" Deuteronomy 25:17, 19

Ba'al Shem Tov: "Memory is the source of redemption; forgetting is oblivion."
 
We Jews are a people of memories. We are told to remember Shabbat in numerous passages, such as the Ten Commandments. Shabbat and the various Holy Days, we are told by the Torah, are in memory of the Exodus from Egypt. On many Holy Days, we have a special Yizkor (Memorial) service. We are told to remember what our most dreadful enemies did to us, then to erase the memory of that enemy, then not to forget to remember to erase the memory.

"The Olive Trees" - Vincent van Gogh - 1889
(read the parshah to determine why I chose this picture)


Memory has power - the power to redeem, the power to generate incredible emotions, and the power to transform those with whom memories are shared. When you tell someone of your memory of another person, you bring the listener into the story - into your life, and into the life of the person you are talking about. In a very real way, you bring the subject of the memory back to life. This is the reason the Torah tells us to erase the memory of Amalek - so that Amalek will not live on in the memories of others. The way to finally kill a person is to forget that s/he ever lived. Regardless of how one may feel about life after death, few of us can disagree with the notion that people continue to live so long as they are remembered. In that way is memory the source of redemption - from oblivion.

God commands us to remember, and perhaps that is why the Amidah, the central prayer of every service, contains the following blessing - "Blessed are you, O Lord, who gives life to the dead." By remembering our loved ones, we act as God's agents in bringing them to life. Not magic - but what Lincoln called "the mystic chords of memory."

Even as the scientists try to figure out the bio/chemical processes which create and store memories in our brains, we are driven to create memories in our very hearts and souls. Ah, memories…
 
Shabbat Shalom!
 
Rabbi Richard A. Flom
Rabbi Emeritus
Temple B’nai Hayim/Congregation Beth Meier
"From the place where we are absolutely right, flowers will never grow in the spring."
"מן המקום שבו אנו צודקים לא יצמחו לעולם פרחים באביב"
Yehuda Amichai
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Cyber Torah list management (no salesman will call!):
To subscribe to Cyber Torah, send an e-mail with the subject heading “Subscribe Cyber Torah” to: ravflom@sbcglobal.net 
Send requests for dedications of Cyber Torah in honor of a simchah, in memory of a loved one or for a refuah shleimah to: ravflom@sbcglobal.net 
To unsubscribe from Cyber Torah, send an e-mail with the subject heading “Unsubscribe Cyber Torah” to: ravflom@sbcglobal.net 

Thursday, September 5, 2024

FOUR PILLARS OF SOCIETY

Parashat Shoftim
Elul 4, 5784 / September 6-7, 2024
Torah - Deuteronomy 16:18 - 21:9
Haftarah - Isaiah 51:12 - 52:12 (Fourth Haftarah of Consolation)
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My Cheshbon Hanefesh Worksheet - 5785 Edition, is now available at my blog:
I hope you find it useful.
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This d'var torah is offered in memory of Lynn's sister, Janis Devorah Kronzek, died far too young, whose 23rd yahrzeit falls on this coming Tuesday, Elul 7. Y'hi zikhronah liv'rakhah - may her memory be a blessing.

This d'var torah is offered in honor of Charlene and Steve Pearlman, celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary next week! Mazal Tov!
 
This d’var torah is offered for a refuah shleimah and a speedy and safe return of all the hostages being held by Hamas.

This d’var torah is offered for a refuah shleimah for all who have been wounded in the terrorist attacks and in fighting against the terrorists, as well as innocent non-combatants caught in the crossfire.
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Lunch and Learn meets Mondays at 12:30 PM on Zoom and Facebook Live. On September 9, we'll be at BT Chagigah 5b, page 8 of Ein Ya'akov (Glick edition) Volume 3:
  "... ודמע תדמע ותרד עיני דמעה" 
"My eye shall weep sorely and run down with tears ..."

Volume 3 of Ein Ya'akov is now available and downloadable on Google drive at:
----------------------------------------------------------
Check out our wonderful community, and get lots of info about our various programs and becoming a Member at: https://bnaihayim.org/ 
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Please feel free to pass this on to a friend, and please cite the source.
--------------------------------------------------------------
FOUR PILLARS OF SOCIETY

“You shall appoint judges and officers in all your gates, which the LORD your God gives you, according to your tribes; and they shall judge the people with righteous justice. You shall not pervert justice: you shall not show partiality; neither shall you take a bribe; for a bribe blinds the eyes of the wise and perverts the words of the righteous. Justice, justice shall you pursue, that you may live, and inherit the land which the LORD your God gives you.” Deuteronomy 16:18-20

These opening verses of this week’s parashah are most famous – and most difficult to translate. Why? Because the word tzedek (צדק), traditionally translated as “justice” in verse 20, also means “righteous”, as in verse 18, and is the root of the word tzedakah (צדקה), “charity” or “righteousness”. In verse 18, the word for “justice” is mishpat (משפט). This word is closely related to Shoftim, “judges”, the name of our parashah. Hence, they shall judge with “just justice” or “righteous justice”.




In Likutei Yehudah, a collection of teachings from the Chasidim of Ger, we learn: “Whenever tzedakah is mentioned, mishpat is also mentioned (citing Gen. 18:19 and Psalms 99:4).” The reason, we are told, is that where there is no justice, there is no righteousness. One might well infer that where there is no righteousness, there is no justice.

But there is more. Hosea 2:21, the verse which is recited as the tefillin shel yad is wound around the fingers, says: “And I will betroth you unto Me forever; yea, I will betroth you unto Me in righteousness (צדק), and in justice (משפט), and in lovingkindness (chesed – חסד), and in compassion (rachamim - רחמים)." I tingle as I read this - and not simply because this comes from the haftarah of my Bar Mitzvah (Parashat Bamidbar).

The Chatam Sofer (Rabbi Moses Schreiber; 1762-1839) teaches that this is an exchange, I imagine as with a double ring wedding ceremony – if we act with justice and righteousness, then God will show us lovingkindness and compassion. We are literally binding ourselves to God in an exchange of vows.

I would like to read even more into this – I must read more into this. These concepts are of a piece. To me, these are the four pillars of the only society worth creating and worth living in.

We are well into the month of Elul, a time for cheshbon hanefesh, an accounting of the soul, leading up to the Days of Awe – Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. What have we done this past year to establish justice and righteousness and lovingkindness and compassion in ourselves and our families and our communities and our world? What will we do in the year to come to make ourselves worthy of living in the world God wants us to create?

Shabbat Shalom!
 
Richard A. Flom, Rabbi Emeritus
Temple B'nai Hayim
Sherman Oaks, CA
".איזה הוא חכם? הלומד מכל אדם"
Who is wise? The one who learns from every person.
Ben Zoma - Pirkei Avot 4:1
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Cyber Torah list management (no salesman will call!):
To subscribe to Cyber Torah, send an e-mail with the subject heading “Subscribe Cyber Torah” to: ravflom@sbcglobal.net 
Send requests for dedications of Cyber Torah in honor of a simchah, in memory of a loved one or for a refuah shleimah to: ravflom@sbcglobal.net 
To unsubscribe from Cyber Torah, send an e-mail with the subject heading “Unsubscribe Cyber Torah” to: ravflom@sbcglobal.net 

Cheshbon Hanefesh Worksheet – 5785 edition

 Cheshbon Hanefesh Worksheet  – 5785 edition
A Personal Inventory for the High Holy Days

Traditionally, cheshbon hanefesh, self-evaluation, literally an accounting of the soul, is undertaken during the Aseret Yamei Teshuvah – the Ten Days of Repentance from Rosh Hashanah through Yom Kippur. The entire month of Elul is even better, but in truth, any time is a good time.
With openness and honesty, giving the benefit of the doubt to yourself without being extravagant, being self-critical without beating yourself up, evaluate the following on an appropriate scale of your choosing. There is no yardstick. Every person is a work in progress – no exceptions! Don't compare yourself to others! It's not a contest! We are all working on the most basic yet most complicated questions - what does it all mean? And what does it all mean TO ME?
Keep notes in a diary and add to them all year. These questions/reflections require much more than a mere score. Please feel free to add any topics you wish to evaluate. Consider both quality and quantity.  Don’t forget to answer the most important questions of all: How have I improved since last year? In what areas do I need to improve? What are my goals in those areas? What will I do to reach them? Of course, there is no right answer to any of this ….. is there?


The People in My Life
How are my relationships with parents, children, spouses/life partners, other family, friends, neighbors, strangers, employers, employees, customers, teachers, et al.?
Who did I injure? Who injured me? How? Why? Does blame matter?
What did I do to make amends? Was it enough?
What did/can/will I do to assure it doesn’t happen again?
Did I apologize?
Did I ask for forgiveness? Was I forgiven? How do I feel about that? Was I not forgiven? How do I feel about that?
Did I forgive those who asked for forgiveness? How do I feel about them?
Is our relationship the same – better – worse? Reconciliation?
What did I do to heal the people in my life?
Did I help others reconcile with each other? Am I a rodef shalom?
Did I make promises I didn't keep? Did I intend to keep them? Did I not? 
Are there patterns, habits, addictions in my life I need to change? Are there good patterns and habits in my life that I should utilize even more?
Do I really hear and understand other people – their needs, hopes and dreams? How can/do I encourage them? Do I encourage them?
Do I accept others for who they are, even if they aren’t what I want them to be? Do I have the right to want them to be other than who they are?
Lashon Hara/Rechilut – Slander, gossip, offensive speech (These make up a significant proportion of the sins for which we seek forgiveness in the Yom Kippur liturgy)
            Did I speak/write it?
            Did I read/listen to it?
            Did I prevent others from spreading it?

God in My Life
Is God in my life? Just what do I mean by "God"?
Do I ever contemplate the Divine?
Do I ever contemplate holiness? Can I be holy? Do I see the holiness in other people?
Do I engage in regular prayer and/or meditation?
            Tefillin
            Daily prayer service/private worship
            Bedtime Sh’ma (teach your children well)
            Blessings for Mitzvot
            Blessings for food/drink
Can I really imitate God?
Did I do teshuvah?
Did I forgive God for what happened to me? Can God cause anything to happen to me?
Do I have a personal theology?

Jewish Ritual/Jewish Observance
Kashruth
            Biblical
            Halakhic - whose halakhah?
            Home
            Out
            Vegetarian
  Vegan

How are my Shabbat and Holy Days (general)?
            Know the stories/reasons
 Candles
            Kiddush
            Family Blessings
            Zemirot – table songs
            Guests
            Refraining from Work
            Attending Services
            Torah Study
            Reflection
            Havdalah
            Fulfilling/meaningful/involved/indifferent
How are my holy days? Do I observe them in some fashion? Do I know what the tradition says? How do I find meaning? Can I/May I/Should I create new traditions?
Specific holy days
            Rosh Hashanah
                        Tashlikh
                        Shofar
            Yom Kippur
                        Fasting
                        Contemplation
                        Teshuvah
            Sukkot
                        Built/ate/studied/slept in a Sukkah
                        Ushpizin – honored visitors
               Lulav and Etrog
            Shemini Atzeret
            Simchat Torah
            Chanukah
                         Chanukiyah/menorah
            Tu BiShevat
            Purim
                        Megillah Reading
                        Shlach Manot
                        Tzedakah
            Pesach
                        Bedikat Chametz
                        Seder
                        No chametz during holiday
            Yom Hashoah
            Yom Ha’atzma’ut
            Shavuot
            Tisha B’Av
            Yizkor – Do I remember those who have gone before me?

Mitzvot – Mitzvah means commandment – or is it a good deed?
            Have I taken on more mitzvot?
            Have I improved my observance of mitzvot I was already doing?
            Have I ceased mitzvot I was already doing?
            How?
            Why?
            Do I find fulfillment in their observance? Am I supposed to?
Judaism - Do I preach it, teach it, live it? 
For that matter - just what is "Judaism"? Religion; culture; civilization; ethnicity?

Study
Do I engage in regular Torah study?
Do I read Jewish books and/or periodicals?
What do I know about Judaism generally?
            History
            Holy Days
            Texts – Tanakh, Talmud, Midrash, etc.
            Culture
            Zionism - what is it? Are there "Zionisms"?
            Personalities
            Beliefs/tenets/philosophy
            Practices
            Halakhah
            Hebrew language
Israel
The State of Israel
The government of the State of Israel
The people (citizens, residents)of the State of Israel
The People Israel (am yisrael - the Jewish people)
The Land of Israel - these five are all called "Israel" in different contexts - do we understand the differences?

Travel – ever; recently; soon
Support (whatever that means, in whichever way one sees fit)
            How? When? Where? Should these matter?
            Israel Bonds
            JNF
            Israeli products
            Rallies
            Letter writing
            AIPAC
            J Street
            Peace Now
            New Israel Fund
            Other groups
            What do I think about the settlements?
            What do I think about the Occupation?
            What di I think about the war in Gaza?
            What do I think about peace with the Palestinians?
            What do I think about the rabbanut?
            What do I think about non-Jewish Israelis?
            What do I think about BDS?
Criticize (whatever that means, in whichever way one sees fit)
             How? When? Where? Should these matter?
Zionism - political - types
Zionism - religious - types
Zionism - Biblical - types
anti-Zionism? How does it differ from antisemitism? Can it differ from antisemitism?

Tzedakah/Gemilut Chasadim/Volunteerism
Do I view others as B'tzelem Elohim - in the image of God?
"Tzedek, tzedek tirdof" - Justice, justice you shall pursue
Feed the hungry
Clothe the naked
Defend/care for the stranger in our midst
Hear the cries of others
Charitable donations
            How much tzedakah? (according to Torah and halakhah, tithing [10%] expected)
            Are some forms of tzedakah more important than others? Are some recipients more important than others? (e.g., from your Jewish values perspective, how important is your synagogue in comparison to the local symphony?)
Donations of Time/Volunteer work
            Congregation
            Other organizations
Donations of Self/gemilut chasadim - acts of lovingkindness
            Bikur cholim - visiting/care for the sick
            Comforting mourners
            Comforting the afflicted

Jewish Community
Do I belong to a Jewish community?
How do I belong?
Supporting without belonging?
Belonging without adequately supporting?
How active in congregation?
            Affiliates
            Religious school/teaching
How active in other Jewish groups?
Reaching out to other Jews
Captive Jews
What about everybody else?

My Body, My Self
Exercise
Diet
Self-abuse (drugs, alcohol, tobacco)
Self-control
Care of the body
Care of the soul
Care of the mind
What did I do to heal myself?
Take reasonable advantage of the pleasing things in this world – art, music, good food and drink, travel, etc.

The Physical World Around Me
The environment – b’al tashchit – do not destroy; cleanup; conservation; climate change; recycling; downsizing
Kindness to animals (tza'ar ba'alei chayim); fostering/adopting versus breeding
Stop and smell the roses/meditate on the wonder of Creation?
Tikkun olam?

A Few Final Thoughts for Your Consideration
Do I deserve another year because I have been good?
Do I deserve another year because I will be better? I promise!
Am I prepared to do teshuvahtefillah and tzedakah?

© Rabbi Richard Flom - 2024

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