Cheshbon Hanefesh Worksheet – 5785 edition
A Personal Inventory for the High Holy Days
Traditionally, cheshbon hanefesh, self-evaluation, literally an accounting of the soul, is undertaken during the Aseret Yamei Teshuvah – the Ten Days of Repentance from Rosh Hashanah through Yom Kippur. The entire month of Elul is even better, but in truth, any time is a good time.
With openness and honesty, giving the benefit of the doubt to yourself without being extravagant, being self-critical without beating yourself up, evaluate the following on an appropriate scale of your choosing. There is no yardstick. Every person is a work in progress – no exceptions! Don't compare yourself to others! It's not a contest! We are all working on the most basic yet most complicated questions - what does it all mean? And what does it all mean TO ME?
Keep notes in a diary and add to them all year. These questions/reflections require much more than a mere score. Please feel free to add any topics you wish to evaluate. Consider both quality and quantity. Don’t forget to answer the most important questions of all: How have I improved since last year? In what areas do I need to improve? What are my goals in those areas? What will I do to reach them? Of course, there is no right answer to any of this ….. is there?
The People in My Life
How are my relationships with parents, children, spouses/life partners, other family, friends, neighbors, strangers, employers, employees, customers, teachers, et al.?
Who did I injure? Who injured me? How? Why? Does blame matter?
What did I do to make amends? Was it enough?
What did/can/will I do to assure it doesn’t happen again?
Did I apologize?
Did I ask for forgiveness? Was I forgiven? How do I feel about that? Was I not forgiven? How do I feel about that?
Did I forgive those who asked for forgiveness? How do I feel about them?
Is our relationship the same – better – worse? Reconciliation?
What did I do to heal the people in my life?
Did I help others reconcile with each other? Am I a rodef shalom?
Did I make promises I didn't keep? Did I intend to keep them? Did I not?
Are there patterns, habits, addictions in my life I need to change? Are there good patterns and habits in my life that I should utilize even more?
Do I really hear and understand other people – their needs, hopes and dreams? How can/do I encourage them? Do I encourage them?
Do I accept others for who they are, even if they aren’t what I want them to be? Do I have the right to want them to be other than who they are?
Lashon Hara/Rechilut – Slander, gossip, offensive speech (These make up a significant proportion of the sins for which we seek forgiveness in the Yom Kippur liturgy)
Did I speak/write it?
Did I read/listen to it?
Did I prevent others from spreading it?
God in My Life
Is God in my life? Just what do I mean by "God"?
Do I ever contemplate the Divine?
Do I ever contemplate holiness? Can I be holy? Do I see the holiness in other people?
Do I engage in regular prayer and/or meditation?
Tefillin
Daily prayer service/private worship
Bedtime Sh’ma (teach your children well)
Blessings for Mitzvot
Blessings for food/drink
Can I really imitate God?
Did I do teshuvah?
Did I forgive God for what happened to me? Can God cause anything to happen to me?
Do I have a personal theology?
Do I have a personal theology?
Jewish Ritual/Jewish Observance
Kashruth
Biblical
Halakhic - whose halakhah?
Home
Out
Vegetarian
Vegan
How are my Shabbat and Holy Days (general)?
Know the stories/reasons
Candles
Kiddush
Family Blessings
Zemirot – table songs
Guests
Refraining from Work
Attending Services
Torah Study
Reflection
Havdalah
Fulfilling/meaningful/involved/indifferent
How are my holy days? Do I observe them in some fashion? Do I know what the tradition says? How do I find meaning? Can I/May I/Should I create new traditions?
Specific holy days
Specific holy days
Rosh Hashanah
Tashlikh
Shofar
Yom Kippur
Fasting
Contemplation
Teshuvah
Sukkot
Built/ate/studied/slept in a Sukkah
Ushpizin – honored visitors
Lulav and Etrog
Shemini Atzeret
Simchat Torah
Chanukah
Chanukiyah/menorah
Chanukiyah/menorah
Tu BiShevat
Purim
Megillah Reading
Shlach Manot
Tzedakah
Pesach
Bedikat Chametz
Seder
No chametz during holiday
Yom Hashoah
Yom Ha’atzma’ut
Shavuot
Tisha B’Av
Yizkor – Do I remember those who have gone before me?
Mitzvot – Mitzvah means commandment – or is it a good deed?
Have I taken on more mitzvot?
Have I improved my observance of mitzvot I was already doing?
Have I ceased mitzvot I was already doing?
How?
Why?
Do I find fulfillment in their observance? Am I supposed to?
Do I find fulfillment in their observance? Am I supposed to?
Judaism - Do I preach it, teach it, live it?
For that matter - just what is "Judaism"? Religion; culture; civilization; ethnicity?
Study
Do I engage in regular Torah study?
Do I read Jewish books and/or periodicals?
What do I know about Judaism generally?
History
Holy Days
Texts – Tanakh, Talmud, Midrash, etc.
Culture
Zionism - what is it? Are there "Zionisms"?
Personalities
Beliefs/tenets/philosophy
Practices
Halakhah
Hebrew language
Israel
The State of Israel
The government of the State of Israel
The people (citizens, residents)of the State of Israel
The People Israel (am yisrael - the Jewish people)
The Land of Israel - these five are all called "Israel" in different contexts - do we understand the differences?
Travel – ever; recently; soon
Support (whatever that means, in whichever way one sees fit)
How? When? Where? Should these matter?
Israel Bonds
JNF
Israeli products
Rallies
Letter writing
AIPAC
J Street
Peace Now
New Israel Fund
Other groups
Other groups
What do I think about the settlements?
What do I think about the Occupation?
What di I think about the war in Gaza?
What do I think about peace with the Palestinians?
What do I think about the rabbanut?
What do I think about BDS?
Criticize (whatever that means, in whichever way one sees fit)
How? When? Where? Should these matter?
Zionism - political - types
Zionism - religious - types
Zionism - Biblical - types
anti-Zionism? How does it differ from antisemitism? Can it differ from antisemitism?
Tzedakah/Gemilut Chasadim/Volunteerism
Do I view others as B'tzelem Elohim - in the image of God?
"Tzedek, tzedek tirdof" - Justice, justice you shall pursue
Feed the hungry
Clothe the naked
Defend/care for the stranger in our midst
Hear the cries of others
Charitable donations
How much tzedakah? (according to Torah and halakhah, tithing [10%] expected)
Are some forms of tzedakah more important than others? Are some recipients more important than others? (e.g., from your Jewish values perspective, how important is your synagogue in comparison to the local symphony?)
Donations of Time/Volunteer work
Congregation
Other organizations
Donations of Self/gemilut chasadim - acts of lovingkindness
Bikur cholim - visiting/care for the sick
Comforting mourners
Comforting the afflicted
Jewish Community
Do I belong to a Jewish community?
How do I belong?
Supporting without belonging?
How do I belong?
Supporting without belonging?
Belonging without adequately supporting?
How active in congregation?
How active in congregation?
Affiliates
Religious school/teaching
How active in other Jewish groups?
Reaching out to other Jews
Captive Jews
What about everybody else?
What about everybody else?
My Body, My Self
Exercise
Diet
Self-abuse (drugs, alcohol, tobacco)
Self-control
Care of the body
Care of the soul
Care of the mind
What did I do to heal myself?
Take reasonable advantage of the pleasing things in this world – art, music, good food and drink, travel, etc.
The Physical World Around Me
The environment – b’al tashchit – do not destroy; cleanup; conservation; climate change; recycling; downsizing
Kindness to animals (tza'ar ba'alei chayim); fostering/adopting versus breeding
Stop and smell the roses/meditate on the wonder of Creation?
Tikkun olam?
A Few Final Thoughts for Your Consideration
Do I deserve another year because I have been good?
Do I deserve another year because I will be better? I promise!
Am I prepared to do teshuvah, tefillah and tzedakah?
© Rabbi Richard Flom - 2024
