CHESHBON HANEFESH - A PERONAL INVENTORY FOR THE HIGH HOLY DAYS - AND ALL YEAR

Cheshbon Hanefesh – A Personal Inventory for the High Holy Days

 

Traditionally, cheshbon hanefesh, literally an accounting of the soul, is undertaken during the Aseret Yamei Teshuvah – the Ten Days of Repentance between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. But any time is a good time.

 

With openness and honesty, giving the benefit of the doubt to yourself without being extravagant, being self-critical without beating yourself up, evaluate the following on an appropriate scale of your choosing. Many questions require much more than a mere score. Please feel free to add any topics you wish to evaluate. Consider both quality and quantity. Don’t forget to answer the most important questions of all: In what areas do I need to improve? What are my goals in those areas? What will I do to reach them? Of course, there is no right answer to any of this ….. is there?

 

The People in My Life

How are my relationships with parents, children, spouses/life partners, other family, friends, neighbors, strangers, employers, employees, customers, teachers, et al.?
Who did I injure? Who injured me? How? Why? Does blame matter?
What did I do to make amends? Was it enough?
What did/can/will I do to assure it doesn’t happen again?
Did I apologize?
Did I ask for forgiveness? Was I forgiven? How do I feel about that?
Did I forgive those who asked for forgiveness? How do I feel about them?
Is our relationship the same – better – worse? Reconciliation?
What did I do to heal the people in my life?
Did I help others reconcile with each other? Am I a rodef shalom?
Are there patterns, habits, addictions in my life I need to change?
Do I really hear and understand other people – their needs, hopes and dreams?
Do I accept others for who they are, even if they aren’t what I want them to be?
Lashon Hara – Slander, gossip, offensive speech
            Did I speak it?
            Did I listen to it?
            Did I prevent others from speaking it?

And while we’re at it,

God in My Life

Is God in my life?

Do I ever contemplate the Divine?

Do I ever contemplate holiness? Can I be holy?

Do I engage in regular prayer and/or meditation?

            Tefillin

            Daily prayer service/private worship
            Bedtime Sh’ma (teach your children well)
            Blessings for Mitzvot
            Blessings for food/drink

Can I really imitate God?
Did I do teshuvah?
Did I forgive God for what happened to me?

Jewish Ritual/Jewish Observance

Kashruth
            Biblical
            Halakhic
            Home
            Out

How are my Shabbat and Holy Days (general)?

            Know the stories/reasons

 Candles

            Kiddush

            Family Blessings

            Zemirot – table songs

            Guests

            Refraining from Work

            Attending Services

            Torah Study

            Reflection

            Havdalah

            Fulfilling/meaningful/involved/indifferent

How are my holy days? Specific

            Rosh Hashanah

                        Tashlikh

                        Shofar
            Yom Kippur
                        Fasting
                        Contemplation
                        Teshuvah
            Sukkot
                        Built/ate/studied/slept in a Sukkah
                        Ushpizin – honored visitors

   Lulav and Etrog

            Shemini Atzeret

            Simchat Torah

            Chanukah

            Tu B’Shvat

            Purim

                     Megillah Reading

                     Shlach Manot
                     Tzedakah
            Pesach

                        Bedikat Chametz

                        Seder

                        No chametz during holiday

            Yom Hashoah

            Yom Ha’atzma’ut

            Shavuot
            Tisha B’Av

Mitzvot – Mitzvah means commandment – or is it a good deed?

            Taken on more Mitzvot

            Greater observance of mitzvot
            How?
            Why?
Judaism - Do I preach it, teach it, live it?

Study

Do I engage in regular Torah study?
Do I read Jewish books and/or periodicals?
What do I know about Judaism generally?
            History
            Holy Days
            Texts – Tanakh, Talmud, Midrash, etc.
            Culture
            Zionism
            Personalities
            Beliefs/tenets/philosophy
            Practices
            Halakhah
            Hebrew language

Israel

Travel – ever; recently; soon
Support
            Israel Bonds
            JNF
            Israeli products
            Rallies
            Letter writing
            AIPAC
            J Street
            New Israel Fund
            Hadassah

Tzedakah/Gemilut Chasadim/Volunteerism

Feed the hungry
Clothe the naked
Hear the cries of others
Charitable donations
            How much tzedakah? (according to Torah and halakhah, tithing [10%] expected)
Donations of Time/Volunteer work
            Congregation
            Other organizations
Donations of Self/gemilut chasadim
            Bikur cholim
            Comforting mourners 

Jewish Community

How active in congregation?
            Affiliates
            Religious school/teaching
How active in other Jewish groups?
Reaching out to other Jews
Captive Jews

My Body, My Self

Exercise
Diet
Self-abuse (drugs, alcohol, tobacco)
Self-control
Care of the body
Care of the soul
Care of the mind
What did I do to heal myself?
Take reasonable advantage of the pleasing things in this world – art, music, good food and drink, travel

The Physical World Around Us

The environment – b’al tashchit – do not destroy
            Cleanup
            Conservation
Kindness to animals
Stop and smell the roses/meditate on the wonder of Creation?
Tikkun olam?

A Few Final Thoughts for Your Consideration

Do I deserve another year because I have been good?
Do I deserve another year because I will be better? I promise!
Am I prepared to do teshuvah, tefillah and tzedakah?
 
© Rabbi Richard Flom