Cheshbon Hanefesh Worksheet
A Personal Inventory for the High Holy Days – 5778 edition
Traditionally, cheshbon hanefesh, literally an accounting of the soul, is undertaken during the Aseret Yamei Teshuvah – the Ten Days of Repentance between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. The entire month of Elul is even better, but in truth, any time is a good time.
With openness and honesty, giving the benefit of the doubt to yourself without being extravagant, being self-critical without beating yourself up, evaluate the following on an appropriate scale of your choosing. Many questions require much more than a mere score. Please feel free to add any topics you wish to evaluate. Consider both quality and quantity. Don’t forget to answer the most important questions of all: In what areas do I need to improve? What are my goals in those areas? What will I do to reach them? Of course, there is no right answer to any of this ….. is there?
The People in My Life
How are my relationships with parents, children, spouses/life partners, other family, friends, neighbors, strangers, employers, employees, customers, teachers, et al.?
Who did I injure? Who injured me? How? Why? Does blame matter?
What did I do to make amends? Was it enough?
What did/can/will I do to assure it doesn’t happen again?
Did I apologize?
Did I ask for forgiveness? Was I forgiven? How do I feel about that?
Did I forgive those who asked for forgiveness? How do I feel about them?
Is our relationship the same – better – worse? Reconciliation?
What did I do to heal the people in my life?
Did I help others reconcile with each other? Am I a rodef shalom?
Are there patterns, habits, addictions in my life I need to change? Are there good patterns and habits in my life that I should exercise even more?
Do I really hear and understand other people – their needs, hopes and dreams?
Do I accept others for who they are, even if they aren’t what I want them to be?
Lashon Hara – Slander, gossip, offensive speech
Did I speak it?
Did I listen to it?
Did I prevent others from speaking it?
God in My Life
Is God in my life?
Do I ever contemplate the Divine?
Do I ever contemplate holiness? Can I be holy? Do I see the holiness in other people?
Do I engage in regular prayer and/or meditation?
Tefillin
Daily prayer service/private worship
Bedtime Sh’ma (teach your children well)
Blessings for Mitzvot
Blessings for food/drink
Can I really imitate God?
Did I do teshuvah?
Did I forgive God for what happened to me?
Jewish Ritual/Jewish Observance
Kashruth
Biblical
Halakhic
Home
Out
How are my Shabbat and Holy Days (general)?
Know the stories/reasons
Candles
Kiddush
Family Blessings
Zemirot – table songs
Guests
Refraining from Work
Attending Services
Torah Study
Reflection
Havdalah
Fulfilling/meaningful/involved/indifferent
How are my holy days? Specific
Rosh Hashanah
Tashlikh
Shofar
Yom Kippur
Fasting
Contemplation
Teshuvah
Sukkot
Built/ate/studied/slept in a Sukkah
Ushpizin – honored visitors
Lulav and Etrog
Shemini Atzeret
Simchat Torah
Chanukah
Tu BiShevat
Purim
Megillah Reading
Shlach Manot
Tzedakah
Pesach
Bedikat Chametz
Seder
No chametz during holiday
Yom Hashoah
Yom Ha’atzma’ut
Shavuot
Tisha B’Av
Mitzvot – Mitzvah means commandment – or is it a good deed?
Have I taken on more mitzvot?
Have I improved my observance of mitzvot I was already doing?
How?
Why?
Judaism - Do I preach it, teach it, live it?
Study
Do I engage in regular Torah study?
Do I read Jewish books and/or periodicals?
What do I know about Judaism generally?
History
Holy Days
Texts – Tanakh, Talmud, Midrash, etc.
Culture
Zionism
Personalities
Beliefs/tenets/philosophy
Practices
Halakhah
Hebrew language
Israel
Travel – ever; recently; soon
Support (in the way one sees fit)
JNF
Israeli products
Rallies
Letter writing
AIPAC
J Street
Peace Now
New Israel Fund
What do I think about the settlements?
What do I think about peace with the Palestinians?
What do I think about the rabbanut?
Zionism
Tzedakah/Gemilut Chasadim/Volunteerism
Feed the hungry
Clothe the naked
Hear the cries of others
Charitable donations
How much tzedakah? (according to Torah and halakhah, tithing [10%] expected)
Donations of Time/Volunteer work
Congregation
Other organizations
Donations of Self/gemilut chasadim
Bikur cholim
Comforting mourners
Jewish Community
How active in congregation?
Affiliates
Religious school/teaching
How active in other Jewish groups?
Reaching out to other Jews
Captive Jews
My Body, My Self
Exercise
Diet
Self-abuse (drugs, alcohol, tobacco)
Self-control
Care of the body
Care of the soul
Care of the mind
What did I do to heal myself?
Take reasonable advantage of the pleasing things in this world – art, music, good food and drink, travel
The Physical World Around Me
The environment – b’al tashchit – do not destroy; cleanup; conservation; global warming
Kindness to animals
Stop and smell the roses/meditate on the wonder of Creation?
Tikkun olam?
A Few Final Thoughts for Your Consideration
Do I deserve another year because I have been good?
Do I deserve another year because I will be better? I promise!
Am I prepared to do teshuvah, tefillah and tzedakah?
© Rabbi Richard Flom - 2017
