YK MORNING - 5776

YK Morning - 5776

My fellow congregants:

Shanah tovah! Gut yontiff!  It is really wonderful to be here with you today, to see so many of you here today, and to be davening here with you today - in fact, it is truly wonderful simply to be today!  I mean, it is wonderful to be alive – isn’t it?  We learn in Psalm 6, “In death there is no remembering You.” We learn elsewhere, “lo hameitim tihalleluyah” – the dead cannot praise God. So, BEING is good! Thank you all for being here for Yom Kippur, THE DAY OF ATONEMENT. I don’t know how you might feel about this, but as far as I’m concerned, if this were indeed the only day for atoning, for doing teshuvah, for turning oneself around, then the day is not long enough!

Thanks again to Barry Glass, Cantor Kerry Katz, Dr. Samuel Fersht, Linda Foster, Melinda Trauman, Warren Trauman, Leonard Foint, Elaine Kleiger, Jack Howland and everybody else who helped conduct our service today or will his afternoon or who helped organize it all in the background. It truly takes a committed, holy community – a kehillah kedoshah – to keep the flames of Judaism burning, and to organize all of this.

What I want to speak about today is ---- how we speak – in the broad sense, including oral speech, writing, emails, tweets, gesturing, making faces, etcetera - really, how we communicate. How we communicate with each other, how we communicate about each other, how we make others feel when we communicate, and what happens when, in the immortal words of the old film “Cool Hand Luke”, we have “a failure to communicate”. 

All of these, and more, make up much of the Al Chet, the long confessional that we recite many times over the course of these 25 hours of atonement and teshuvah.

Take a look, if you will, at pages 437-441 in your machzor. Look at this list, and see that most of them directly or indirectly concern communication– acting without thinking, speaking perversely, acting deceitfully, corrupt speech, wronging others, evil thought, insincere confession, disrespecting parents and teachers, desecrating God’s name, foul speech, foolish talk, fraud, falsehood, bribery, mocking, slander, extortion, false pride, idle gossip, wanton glances, haughtiness, effrontery, perverting justice, betrayal, envy, irreverence, stubbornness, tale bearing, swearing falsely, causeless hatred, breach of trust – all of this coming from our mouths or the modern substitute, the keyboard. All of this spreading far and wide through the miracle of the internet and viral social media.

This summer – the way we have been talking about Israel and the Iran agreement as it relates to Israel – the manner in which we speak to our fellow Jews in the US and in Israel, the way we talk about it with our fellow Americans – it’s all been, quite frankly, a shande - a shameful disgrace. It has indeed been shameful, and has done little to elevate Israel and the Jewish people in the eyes of Jews, in the eyes of Americans, in the eyes of the world. It’s not a question of getting our stories straight, or of speaking in one voice – it’s a matter of how we have presented ourselves to each other.

I mentioned to you last week the diversity one finds in Israel. It’s the same in every Jewish community. One of the greatest areas of diversity in Israel, in America, and in every Jewish community, is that we have diverse opinions!

Even in a homogeneous population, there is difference of opinion and practice and belief. The rabbis of old applauded these differences – that’s why, 1800 years before the US Supreme Court thought of publishing dissenting opinions, the rabbis preserved them in the Talmud. Not only that, they taught them - with respect. And the rabbis of today, even those with strongly held opinions, overwhelmingly understand the need for preserving and respecting dissenting opinions as well. This is what distinguishes Judaism from the other major religions. We are NOT doctrinaire, except perhaps in the most insular communities. There is no faith test to be a Jew, or to be a member of any synagogue. But suddenly, one’s very Jewishness and one’s very Americanness, if you will, are being questioned because of the opinions one has about Israel or about the Iran agreement.

One of the biggest knocks against Jews by outsiders, not just anti-Semites, is that – “the Jews all stick together!” They’re clannish, they don’t trust non-Jews, and when given the opportunity, they favor each other over non-Jews.

Whether any of that was ever true or not, it sure isn’t true anymore. These past few months have been horrifying in the savage attacks that Jews have leveled against each other in the most despicable language. And it has given permission for non-Jews to say the same things about Jews – for anti-Semitic tropes to be publicly stated and accepted as a matter of course because Jews uttered them first against fellow Jews.

When a well-known Jew accuses a rabbi, one whom many of you personally know and respect, when that Jew accuses that rabbi of being a tool of Hamas and Hezbollah because that rabbi favored the Iran agreement, when that Jew says that rabbi wants to destroy Israel, that Jew has given permission to other Jews to call that rabbi and other supporters of the agreement Nazi collaborators and self-hating Jews. And so I have heard it said! And so I have seen it written! And that permission extends to non-Jews, which is how a presidential candidate could say that people who favor the agreement are marching the people of Israel to the doors of the ovens. Yes, if you favor the agreement, you’re a kapo! That was too much even for agreement opponents like Bibi Netanyahu, who had to say that Israel knows how to defend itself and no one is marching the Jews anywhere.

It works the other way too. When a Jew accuses fellow Jews who oppose the agreement of being tools of AIPAC and the Israel lobby and the Israeli government, they are giving permission to other Jews to question the loyalty of those who have sworn an oath to defend and uphold the United States and its Constitution. And so I have heard it said! And so I have seen it written! This is why non-Jewish enemies of Israel - real anti-Semites too - can say with impunity that Senators and Congressmen opposed to the agreement have committed treason. These are slanders against all Jews – originating from Jewish mouths.

Ridiculous accusations have been made which ultimately result in each side violating what has become known as Godwin’s law, which holds that when someone in a discussion makes a Nazi comparison, he has lost the argument. Well, both sides have managed to do that. Both supporters and opponents have lost the argument and embarrassed themselves and the Jewish people in the process.

Each side accuses the other of having a position that will inevitably lead to an Iranian nuclear weapon. But no one, no one, has been able to produce any evidence whatsoever that anyone with whom they disagree has said, “The reason I have this position is because I want Iran to get the bomb and destroy Israel.” No one has said it, because no one in these discussions wants that! They ALL want to prevent an Iranian bomb!

What we have is that people of good conscience disagree over an important matter. But the arguments have devolved into what can only be called sinat chinam - baseless hatred – it’s one of the sins listed in the Al Chet! The rabbis taught that it was sinat chinam, baseless hatred between Jews, which led to the destruction of the Temple and Jerusalem and a 2000 year dispersion of our people. I don’t hate anyone, but I have lost an enormous amount of respect for people on either side of these issues because of what they have said about their opponents. The use of hateful language not only damages the person at whom the speech is directed, it diminishes the speaker as well. And it diminishes the listener.

And it diminishes even more the listener who refuses to challenge the hateful speech. Yes.

You know, one of the things that’s not in the Al Chet, but which really, truly ought to be, is silence. We have all learned the famous sayings of the German theologians Niemoller and Bonhoeffer.

Niemoller said:

First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out –

Because I was not a Socialist.

Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out –

Because I was not a Trade Unionist.

Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out –

Because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for me – and there was no one left to speak for me.

Bonhoeffer said:

Silence in the face of evil is itself evil: God will not hold us guiltless. Not to speak is to speak. Not to act is to act.

They were right, of course, but they were very late to the game. Our rabbis taught in the Talmud, 1500 years ago in Tractate Yevamot – sh’tikah k’hoda’ah damya – silence is regarded as an admission, silence is regarded as consent. Silence speaks volumes!

So, what do you do? What do you say, instead of being silent?

According to the Torah we are supposed to condemn the inappropriate behavior of others.  Specifically, in chapter 19 of Leviticus, we are commanded, “you shall surely reproach your neighbor…” (19:17). And yet very few people are comfortable telling someone else that they think their behavior is wrong. We don’t want to embarrass, we don’t want to argue, we don’t want to get involved – But here’s the problem – if you hear lashon hara, evil speech, you ARE involved – and if and you don’t speak up – that’s an indication that you agree. Sh’tikah k’hoda’ah damya.

The manner in which we reproach people for doing wrong is just as important as telling them. The verse in Leviticus that commands us to “reproach our neighbor” concludes with the words “and you shall not incur guilt because of him.” Rashi, the great Franco-German rabbi of the 11^th-12^th centuries, tells us that these words come to teach us that even though it is required to reprove a wrongdoer, it is a sin to do it the wrong way. To embarrass somebody through your rebuke is a sin.

Looking at the Hebrew of the verse, Rashi says that the verb to reproach- Hoche’ach tochi’ach is repeated to show that we are supposed to do it gently and little by little. According to the rabbis it is better to convince someone little by little that what they are doing is wrong, rather than attacking them directly and forcefully. Not with anger – with gentleness. But – you still have to do it!

There’s a phrase in the Amidah for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur that doesn’t appear in the regular daily or Shabbat Amidah. It’s “agudah echat”, translated as “one fellowship”. It’s not quite the same thing as what I spoke of last week -kehillah kedoshah – holy community. It has to do with relationships more generally, not just those having to do with religious practice.

Going back to the Al Chet - I wonder how many of us will utter those confessional words, those group admissions of all types of evil speech, and think that they do not apply to the things we said about our fellow Jews and our fellow Americans this summer. How many of us are going to justify and rationalize the hate which spewed from our lips and our keyboards because we think our opponents are not just wrong, but because we falsely believe they are trying to wipe out everything we hold dear? How many of us mistakenly and destructively believe that “agudah echat”, unity in fellowship, applies only to those who share our parochial political viewpoints? It is hubris and it is hateful and it threatens the fabric of our society.

Sadly, this type of hate speech is not new in American discourse, but it is spreading in American Jewry. I do not ask for unity – that would be Pollyannaish at best. We have never had unity of opinion. But I do ask for, no demand, that we treat every member of our people and our society with respect and dignity.

If you have not engaged in this type of speech, whether regarding the Iran agreement, Israeli government policies, American government policies or any other hot topic, then kol hakavod – all honor to you! But if you have debased yourself or others in this way, by speech or by silence, then this holy day season is exactly the time for you to engage in retrospection and self-examination and admit it! Look in the mirror and tell yourself you have been wrong! Admit it! And then go and admit it and apologize to the people you spoke harshly to, the people you spoke hatefully about, and ask for their forgiveness. THAT is how you develop agudah echat – a unified fellowship.

Some time ago, I was at the dentist’s office, trying to get some help for an exposed surface on my jaw bone that was quite sore. He explained I would need to keep my tongue from rubbing against that spot, even involuntarily, or the sore would remain. I began to laugh through the pain, and he asked me what was so funny. So I explained: “Jewish tradition teaches that the tongue seems often to have a mind of its own. It is hard enough for a human being to keep from using the tongue intentionally; doing what it was designed to do regarding food and speech. How much more difficult it is to keep it from moving involuntarily!” And what a metaphor my dentist had created in my mind – as our tongues move, even against our will, they can cause wounds that do not easily heal. Even for the speaker. Even for the innocent listener.

          Trying to avoid misuse of the tongue (and its modern counterpart, the computer keyboard), and trying not to pay attention to someone else’s misuse, are among the most difficult tasks we have.  In our society, lashon hara is regarded more as an industry than as a sin – and we are the lesser for it. We know that lashon hara hurts everyone involved – the subject, the speaker, the listener.  Think of the conflicts, large and small, that we create through evil speech. In the immortal words of Pogo, “We have met the enemy, and it is us.”

We all have the potential to be better than we are. Much better. Martin Buber tells this story of the Hasidic leader Zusya of Hanipol, which tells us a bit about self-improvement. Zusya is on his sick bed, dying, with his disciples gathered around him and crying. “Why are you crying, master?” his Hasidim ask, “what do you have to be afraid of? You are such a righteous man that God will welcome you immediately to heaven.” Zusya answered in a very still voice, “I am not afraid that God will ask me why I was not more like Moses, for there is only one Moses. I am afraid that God will ask, ‘Why were you not more like Zusya?” The Zusya that could have been – the Zusya that should have been. That’s the question – why can’t we be more like who we ought to be? Well, it’s not like we have anyone to blame but ourselves.

Chaverim, the answer is – of course we can live up to our potential for being more decent human beings. We have to better control our tongues, and reflect with our fingers off the keyboard before we hit the send button - even as we know full well that we cannot remain silent in the face of evil – evil deeds and evil words.

Yes, it’s hard. Why should it be easy? But if we are going to maintain our relationships with our fellow Jews and our fellow Americans, if we are going to fulfill this ideal of agudah echat, then we need to take seriously the words of the prayer book. We need to turn ourselves around through teshuvah. And then we need to go forward – to the day after.

I wish each and every one of you a g’mar chatimah tovah – may you be completely sealed for a good year. And I wish and pray also – harachaman hu yivorekh otanu kulanu yachad b’virkat shalom – May the Merciful One bless us, all of us, together as one, with the blessing of peace. Shanah tovah!